[Oh. Oh, no. This is not a tits-out conversation, but she doesn't want to delay it any longer -- she doesn't know if she can, when she's already trying so hard to hold herself back from hugging him. God, she wants to. Fuck, she can feel herself tearing up, too, and even though it's better than him doing it on multiple levels, she fucking hates it.]
Teo... Teo, no. Y-you -- [She wants to hold him. She wants him to hold her. She wants to be back at the hotel, lazily resting together and happy because time and the outside world didn't exist. They don't have enough time for this.] You didn't leave -- m-me. If -- What would I have -- done, if you had stayed? If I wasn't -- here to...to...
[Shit, yeah, those are tears. She draws her hands back to herself to bury her face, partly mortified but mostly needing to hold something, and if she gets to wipe someone's tears away, then maybe that will help ease the ache of not being able to. No touching his tears to comfort him, hide them, or even marvel at them, like that sick, twisted part of her brain still desires. It's ink. Ink on a man that's otherwise a blank book, telling a story that's messy and not just imagined or hoped for... And she loves stories. She loves his inky tears. She hates that she's seeing them.]
Please don't -- This is my fault. It was mmmy -- idea. All of it. Please, Teo, just --
[Oh. It really is all her fault. Weirdly, that makes her feel...better? There's no one to blame but herself -- and, uh, the assholes that were just doing the sensible survivor thing accidentally fucking their plan up. Ryder's still going to blame them. Pettily. The only bad thing about causing all this is that it's made things so difficult for Teo and crushed his hopes. Her unrealistic little fantasy world wasn't real, and these are the consequences. She hurt him through his self-blame and put the both of them in danger.
Ryder sniffles and forces herself to move again, putting on her bra finally and following it with her shirt.]
We're -- W-we're in this -- together. [For better and for worse, in sickness and in health -- haha, very funny, brain. God, Ry, shut up.] Be okay. Gonna be okay. I'm -- okay, n'so r'you, s-so. Gonna be okay. Okay?
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Teo... Teo, no. Y-you -- [She wants to hold him. She wants him to hold her. She wants to be back at the hotel, lazily resting together and happy because time and the outside world didn't exist. They don't have enough time for this.] You didn't leave -- m-me. If -- What would I have -- done, if you had stayed? If I wasn't -- here to...to...
[Shit, yeah, those are tears. She draws her hands back to herself to bury her face, partly mortified but mostly needing to hold something, and if she gets to wipe someone's tears away, then maybe that will help ease the ache of not being able to. No touching his tears to comfort him, hide them, or even marvel at them, like that sick, twisted part of her brain still desires. It's ink. Ink on a man that's otherwise a blank book, telling a story that's messy and not just imagined or hoped for... And she loves stories. She loves his inky tears. She hates that she's seeing them.]
Please don't -- This is my fault. It was mmmy -- idea. All of it. Please, Teo, just --
[Oh. It really is all her fault. Weirdly, that makes her feel...better? There's no one to blame but herself -- and, uh, the assholes that were just doing the sensible survivor thing accidentally fucking their plan up. Ryder's still going to blame them. Pettily. The only bad thing about causing all this is that it's made things so difficult for Teo and crushed his hopes. Her unrealistic little fantasy world wasn't real, and these are the consequences. She hurt him through his self-blame and put the both of them in danger.
Ryder sniffles and forces herself to move again, putting on her bra finally and following it with her shirt.]
We're -- W-we're in this -- together. [For better and for worse, in sickness and in health -- haha, very funny, brain. God, Ry, shut up.] Be okay. Gonna be okay. I'm -- okay, n'so r'you, s-so. Gonna be okay. Okay?