[After a pause, Ryder turns her head to study him. What a heavy morning it's turning out to be...but maybe that's not much of a surprise, after last night. They sure did jump over some strange intimacy fence that had been covered thoroughly in barbed wire, and here they were loitering around it some more.]
That's stupid. You don't -- need to be forgiven. It isn't your fault.
[But she understands what he means, sort of, and sighs as she glances over to where his fingers fumble about.]
I don't want -- you buying my friendship. I want to think you don't have to. [She feels heat rising up again, but the burning is more behind her eyes and threatening tears than anything. Is she so awful? Does he really think he is so awful?
He's happy. Ryder closes her eyes and breathes to remind herself of that. He's happy with her, so it had nothing to do with just how terrible she was at making friends or just at being, this time. Even if they found others that accepted him, Teo wouldn't immediately jump ship to appeal to them, right?
Her hand comes up, palm out to him, in a silent request for him to take her hand. She honestly can't say she expects him to, and it's pretty selfish of her to try anyway because what she wants is what he wants, according to him, so shouldn't he do this for her? Very, awfully, terribly selfish. Maybe she wants him to buy her friendship after all.]
..."Don't ever let anyone who claims that they love you treat you as if you're ordinary.
Because, even at a distance, I've seen the way you love. I've seen it so intently that I could almost feel it, too.
And the last thing I could ever recall feeling again is ordinary."
[She won't have to get along with the living, if he really is as happy as he says, but she might choose to, eventually. Maybe. For him. For now she wants to keep feeling special.]
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That's stupid. You don't -- need to be forgiven. It isn't your fault.
[But she understands what he means, sort of, and sighs as she glances over to where his fingers fumble about.]
I don't want -- you buying my friendship. I want to think you don't have to. [She feels heat rising up again, but the burning is more behind her eyes and threatening tears than anything. Is she so awful? Does he really think he is so awful?
He's happy. Ryder closes her eyes and breathes to remind herself of that. He's happy with her, so it had nothing to do with just how terrible she was at making friends or just at being, this time. Even if they found others that accepted him, Teo wouldn't immediately jump ship to appeal to them, right?
Her hand comes up, palm out to him, in a silent request for him to take her hand. She honestly can't say she expects him to, and it's pretty selfish of her to try anyway because what she wants is what he wants, according to him, so shouldn't he do this for her? Very, awfully, terribly selfish. Maybe she wants him to buy her friendship after all.]
..."Don't ever let anyone
who claims that they love you
treat you as if you're ordinary.
Because, even at a distance,
I've seen the way you love.
I've seen it so intently
that I could almost feel it, too.
And the last thing I could
ever recall feeling again
is ordinary."
[She won't have to get along with the living, if he really is as happy as he says, but she might choose to, eventually. Maybe. For him. For now she wants to keep feeling special.]