[Thank fucking god. It isn’t real relief, obviously. It was fucking horrible. But at least the puzzle piece slides into place and she can stop thinking about it. The only thing she has to worry about is the fact that she won’t exist as a person soon, becoming a furious, hollow husk like she sort of imagined herself as in high school, but worse because it was real. None of this should be real.
His question jerks her out of the tearful daze she’d fallen into. People getting close was — strange. But there’s such a vicious ache in her chest that it threatened to overcome all the other hurts. Ryder struggles to tell him it’s okay and quickly gives up, going for a nod instead. He definitely wasn’t her mom, and she wasn’t going to be the one he wished most was there with him, but who else did they have? He must be scared, too, but he’s holding strong for her. Ugh, there she goes again, letting that wave of emotion take over. Ryder brings her sleeved forearms up to bury her face in even though it’s hot from tears, trying to muffle her crying before she made it worse again. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.]
no subject
His question jerks her out of the tearful daze she’d fallen into. People getting close was — strange. But there’s such a vicious ache in her chest that it threatened to overcome all the other hurts. Ryder struggles to tell him it’s okay and quickly gives up, going for a nod instead. He definitely wasn’t her mom, and she wasn’t going to be the one he wished most was there with him, but who else did they have? He must be scared, too, but he’s holding strong for her. Ugh, there she goes again, letting that wave of emotion take over. Ryder brings her sleeved forearms up to bury her face in even though it’s hot from tears, trying to muffle her crying before she made it worse again. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.]