[Teo does what he always does. He helps her slow down and see the world beyond herself again. In that moment he shows her, her view expands and she's able to see Cecily as someone with her own thoughts and desires instead of being just another facet of the nebulous "them". So...she remembered a "normal", even though she was raised for this. She wanted "normal" again. Ryder lets her fists unclench and she slides her gaze back to Teo, brow furrowing as she tried to imagine him pawning her off on these people because it was for her own good -- competent, living people that could keep her safe, instead of his infection changing how she could live and bringing dangers she hadn't expected. She could see him thinking something dumb like that, if she wasn't so clearly incompatible with other survivors. The thought hurts.
...Still, Cecily couldn't stay with them, even if they wanted the same thing. Cecily being around meant no more days lazing about on a mattress or making the most of an abandoned kitchen. No more quietly reading like there wasn't a broken world on the other side of the wall. No more Teo being comfortable enough to let her see the most valuable weapons he had -- the teeth he hid with the gaiter and the heart that could empathize with the dead around them.
She wants to curl up beside him, bury her face in, and apologize until he knew she meant it. She shouldn't have snapped at the girls, or dismissed Cecily as a person, or spoken as if her harsh words were meant from the both of them and he didn't have his own right to decide these things. She can't, and doesn't think she could even if they were just the two of them the way it was supposed to be. Stomping down that feeling, Ryder steadies herself with a few more slow breaths. Her heart is still pounding at the walls of her ribs like they held onto all the anger that had boiled over before.]
...Fine. [Her mouth opens, more bitter words about how she would only play along if Maddy stopped treating them like fucking prisoners, but decides better with a sigh and a look away. It didn't matter. It was the way it had to be, if they wanted to get their lives back. With no enthusiasm, Ryder switches gears back into the lie she'd thought of too late. Maybe it would...help, somehow, even if it wasn't true. Or rather, there was truth to it in more ways than one, but it wasn't the right answer to satisfy Maddy's agitation.] ...Arrows. Teo -- uses a bow. Hard to mmm-make. Dig 'em back -- out, w-when s'safe. Don't do that again.
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...Still, Cecily couldn't stay with them, even if they wanted the same thing. Cecily being around meant no more days lazing about on a mattress or making the most of an abandoned kitchen. No more quietly reading like there wasn't a broken world on the other side of the wall. No more Teo being comfortable enough to let her see the most valuable weapons he had -- the teeth he hid with the gaiter and the heart that could empathize with the dead around them.
She wants to curl up beside him, bury her face in, and apologize until he knew she meant it. She shouldn't have snapped at the girls, or dismissed Cecily as a person, or spoken as if her harsh words were meant from the both of them and he didn't have his own right to decide these things. She can't, and doesn't think she could even if they were just the two of them the way it was supposed to be. Stomping down that feeling, Ryder steadies herself with a few more slow breaths. Her heart is still pounding at the walls of her ribs like they held onto all the anger that had boiled over before.]
...Fine. [Her mouth opens, more bitter words about how she would only play along if Maddy stopped treating them like fucking prisoners, but decides better with a sigh and a look away. It didn't matter. It was the way it had to be, if they wanted to get their lives back. With no enthusiasm, Ryder switches gears back into the lie she'd thought of too late. Maybe it would...help, somehow, even if it wasn't true. Or rather, there was truth to it in more ways than one, but it wasn't the right answer to satisfy Maddy's agitation.] ...Arrows. Teo -- uses a bow. Hard to mmm-make. Dig 'em back -- out, w-when s'safe. Don't do that again.