'it was the beginning of the end' if they could see her now, what would the handful of AO3 users that had commented on her fanfics think with as cheesy an opener as that?
[It's a reasonable assumption to make -- even if things had gone how they were supposed to today, the undead would still be roaming wherever they pleased, the top of the food chain. The only reason Ryder was able to claim she had any stake here is because she was able to send Teo out to get things she needed... The thought sinks like a hot coal in her stomach, into the pile of all the other hot coals burning away from just this interaction. She looks over her shoulder before trotting to keep up, even though she's more concerned about what she's following at the moment.
When she sees girls, some of the tension instantly melts away. It's not like Ryder can get along with girls any better than guys -- she didn't understand most girls -- but there was more safety in numbers. Even if they were on this guy's side, there would still be that solidarity, right? Plus one of them -- Cecilia? Or Cecily? Shit. Which one was she? Is that -- is that both of them? No, that other one was Maddison. Fuck. Shit, fuck, okay. Point is: C looks pretty rad. She'd want her on her apocalypse team, if she was the kind to build an apocalypse team and function well on it. Drawn into composing the rest of this hypothetical team, Ryder jumps when she realizes she's being addressed again. Oh, fuck. She forgot how to be pissed. No -- still pissed, just. Not sure how to be on the offensive.]
...I'm not explaining shit. But we really can -- get almost anything. He even -- he got medicine for me before. [Ehhh, hmm...] I dunno if it's still... These other jackasses ruined one of our spots. We still had food and shit stocked. Water in -- toilet tanks. If you can make sure I don't die looking for him, I'll take you there. Might still be okay. N'you -- can give us a list.
[The man's face remains impassive, right up until Ryder mentions medicine. His brows shoot right up. Maddison stops part way up the ladder, turning to look back. The man tries to school his expression back under control. Cecily cuts in first.]
"Working toilets? And food? Aw, can we go, we gotta--"
[The man shoots her a sharp look and her pink runners stop kicking. He makes an attempt to salvage things, speaking pointedly to Ryder and Cecily both.]
We don't tend to be the sort to stay in one place. A nice night might be only one single night.
But the medicine is still worth the place and more. [Maddison doesn't seem to like speaking up against her Father, given the way she frowns, but she sticks to it.] We've been understocked. I don't think we should pass this up.
[He all but growls, narrowing his eyes at his daughters. But then, he faces Ryder again.]
Take my eldest on ground. [Maddison starts climbing back down.] Cecilia, back on watch--
"What! I wanted to go..."
On. Watch. Until your sister returns. [And to Ryder.] I'd better not regret this. [With Maddison down and stepping to Ryder's side, the man starts climbing up in her stead. The girl nods without a lick of enthusiasm.]
[Her hopes teeter in a way that make her want to throw up -- every second that passes make her want to bolt so she won't have to deal with it anymore. It's for Teo, she miserably reminds herself, grimacing. She tries not to exaggerate it more when Maddison is the one offered up. Cecily is louder, impatient, and might not take things seriously enough, as far as she can tell -- would probably drive her fucking crazy in no time at all -- but maybe that's not so unfamiliar! Plus she had a real-ass nail bat. That's rad.
She's grateful Maddison -- Maddy, much better -- doesn't put her hand out, or anything like that. The "nice to meet you" is already over the top. It's very much not nice to meet them? Ryder was fully willing to let their dad get eaten. Still, they could help each other, and it was better to know where the survivors were, if they were going to be sticking around. She's already turning before she remembers that she should probably introduce herself in turn, and mumbles,]
Ryder Mm -- [No, wait. If she has a last name, Teo should have a last name, and he didn't. Did...Teo even know what her last name was? She should tell him. It makes her want to cry, and so does the painful stiffness in her fingers settling in from gripping her axe too tightly.] ...'Graves' is -- cool.
[An apocalypse-fitting name, like Ryder. Ish.
God, she doesn't want to fucking talk to this girl!!! She was a better option than her dad, but talking at all sounds like torture. For Teo. This is your part, remember? He does the dead, you do the living. Suck it up. Suck it the fuck up? Yeah. Suck it the fuck up.]
Be quiet. [Wait, shit -- ] I m-mean -- stealth. Guns aren't our -- thing. An' lemme go ahead.
[She needs to reach Teo before Maddy does. At the very least, he needs to have his coat on again before he's stuck interacting with these people. Anything that could help protect him a little longer.]
Okay. Let's -- let's go.
[Ryder moves a little faster than she would have on her own, too eager to find him. The sooner they found Teo, the sooner they could get these people some supplies, and the sooner they'd be on their way. They could get back to their peaceful lives. It's not until they're closer to where things had gone from bad to worse that she starts to heed her surroundings more, going up to vehicles to peek into the windows and checking other places he reasonably could be waiting for her. As much as she wants to throw caution to the wind, leaving Maddy to make up for how careless she is, Ryder forces herself to maintain the idea that she's gotten this far into the apocalypse for a reason. That didn't all go away because of some man being around to protect her! It doesn't matter how badly her nerves are consuming her, this is their life now. Just...a life together, instead. She has to keep living for it to work. These people have to believe in the value she has to help her. Only good reasons to keep a level head, as excruciating as that is.
[Cecily would've nodded appreciatively and said, It's pretty badass! But Maddy--]
I guess. Didn't pick it.
[Absolutely knocking it out of the park with the conversation thing. She's just checking her ammo when Ryder effectively tells her to shut up. She pauses, looking up with a lifted brow. Stealth, huh? She closes the gun back up, fixing in place over her shoulder, then draws a knife.]
I wouldn't worry. [Not the least because the guns were only partly for killing and drawing out the undead hoards.
Maddy follows after Ryder, heeding her command. She steps out only to cut between Ryder and any approaching undead. As if it were nothing, Maddy cuts through them, taking heads off shoulders in quick but forceful motions, then moving along. She displays even more confidence in the work than her father. She pauses only once, nudging a dead motorcyclist with her shoe. Then, she reaches down and yanks the helmet the rest of the way off, then attaching it on to a strap at her hip.
Two, three cars down, Teo starts to lift his head up in rear window, goggles and messy hair as before. He starts to lift a hand too, only to spot the other person tailing Ryder. He drops back down.]
She's a little surprised at Maddy's -- not efficiency or skill. That, she sort of expected, with their group kitted out the way they were and them being able to run on hand signals. Her approach, maybe? Willingness? It's not as if Ryder isn't armed herself, but -- well. She had asked them to help retrieve her partner. It wouldn't be a stretch for them to believe she isn't capable. At least it means she can focus her efforts on looking.
Was that...?]
Huh?
[She's a little surprised to have the other girl speaking again. A beat later when the question registers, she can't help the scowl that settles into place. Man, survivors are assholes. Maybe not these guys -- that's still to be determined -- but the fact that she keeps being asked this? Do people lie that much? Of course they do.]
M'serious. [This is miserable. How is she supposed to convince this girl while she's also trying to cook up an excuse to make her keep some distance?] Um, he... Th-there were others ssssurvivors. Went t'hospital. Dunno what they grabbed, or -- if they got out. E-ever went in. I dunno. W-we'll look, though. Get -- much as we can, of what you need. Y-you'd just -- shoot us. If I lied.
[Okay. That's definitely a body in that car so she's praying it's him! A little jog and a flood of relief where she cheers his name later, she's wheeling to face Maddy again.]
So, um. Um. [Good god. She's going to die.] We were kinda. Um. Interrupted. [Fuck her life... She starts to slip an arm out of her borrowed coat.] But it looks -- like he grabbed my, um. Grabbedmybra, s-so would you mind -- little space? While, uh, I change in the car?
[Is Ryder, the girl currently thinking out a lie, surprised that other people lie?
Maddy's eyes narrow a little at the scowl, but it's not enough to determine anything either which way. She does look thoughtful at the idea of shooting her.]
...That depends. You might be more useful alive.
[A statement that is surely not at all concerning. Though whatever cool expression she had is shattered in a moment. She goes through confusion, then dawning horror, before settling on disgust and disbelief.]
You two were fucking out here?
[She doesn't wait for an answer. She sucks a breath, lifts her hands up (bloody weapon and all), and turns her back.]
Change. And you better not try to finish whatever you two started.
[Ryder never claimed to be smart. Anyway, her lie is different!!! Her lie only makes her want to die, it doesn't fuck over other people. Let's just ignore the fact that she would have been -- okay, not happy, but relieved to let these other survivors get eaten if things hadn't worked out. Though she might be longing for that reality now, with Maddy's comment about her being more useful alive. What does that mean? Hey Maddy, what does that mean??? Ryder doesn't want to find out what that means.
She makes some kind of strangled noise that is probably meant to assure Maddy that she won't be doing anything like that -- for multiple reasons -- and when the girl turns away, she opens the car, pushes herself inside, and slams it shut behind her. The coat is already off before she starts speaking in a quick, hushed tone. Her face is still flushed red with mortification.]
I'm so, so s-sorry, fuck. N-needed an -- excuse to give these -- back.
[There's no time to waffle over being topless and facing him in such close quarters. Off the hoodie goes, too! Not like it matters. Not like he would want to see or touch her even if he wasn't infected. She doesn't need to remind him to hurry to put them back on, either.]
I said we -- would find supplies for them. Medicine. Sorry. There's -- two others, another girl and probably -- dad? [She's reaching for her bra when she catches up to her panic and stares at him with wide, worried eyes.] A-are you okay?
[The car door slams behind her. She's talked fast, moving fast, and there's the scent of old undead blood as well as something new from those others. She's throwing his jacket at him, his hoodie, reaching for her bra, and then at last she meets his eyes.
He's staring at her, wide-eyed. His goggles are lifted onto his brows to look at her, even at the risk of being seen. His hand goes out to her face and hovers, not touching. Never touching.]
... I'm sorry...
[His expression twists into one of misery, despite the relief he feels.]
I shouldn't have... left you... I left... you... I didn't mean... I'm sorry...
[He saw it of course. It was a slaughter but she managed to keep it on his side, not hers, and for that he's so, so relieved. She could've died. Just like that. And all for some stupid mercy to beings that weren't even capable of appreciating it.
Ryder gets her wish. His hand draws back to press at his eyes, but in the split second before that, a noxious black liquid wells at the corners and just starts to spill. He ducks his head until he's sure it's back under control.]
Shouldn't have... done this... Risked you... for nothing... 'm sorry...
[Oh. Oh, no. This is not a tits-out conversation, but she doesn't want to delay it any longer -- she doesn't know if she can, when she's already trying so hard to hold herself back from hugging him. God, she wants to. Fuck, she can feel herself tearing up, too, and even though it's better than him doing it on multiple levels, she fucking hates it.]
Teo... Teo, no. Y-you -- [She wants to hold him. She wants him to hold her. She wants to be back at the hotel, lazily resting together and happy because time and the outside world didn't exist. They don't have enough time for this.] You didn't leave -- m-me. If -- What would I have -- done, if you had stayed? If I wasn't -- here to...to...
[Shit, yeah, those are tears. She draws her hands back to herself to bury her face, partly mortified but mostly needing to hold something, and if she gets to wipe someone's tears away, then maybe that will help ease the ache of not being able to. No touching his tears to comfort him, hide them, or even marvel at them, like that sick, twisted part of her brain still desires. It's ink. Ink on a man that's otherwise a blank book, telling a story that's messy and not just imagined or hoped for... And she loves stories. She loves his inky tears. She hates that she's seeing them.]
Please don't -- This is my fault. It was mmmy -- idea. All of it. Please, Teo, just --
[Oh. It really is all her fault. Weirdly, that makes her feel...better? There's no one to blame but herself -- and, uh, the assholes that were just doing the sensible survivor thing accidentally fucking their plan up. Ryder's still going to blame them. Pettily. The only bad thing about causing all this is that it's made things so difficult for Teo and crushed his hopes. Her unrealistic little fantasy world wasn't real, and these are the consequences. She hurt him through his self-blame and put the both of them in danger.
Ryder sniffles and forces herself to move again, putting on her bra finally and following it with her shirt.]
We're -- W-we're in this -- together. [For better and for worse, in sickness and in health -- haha, very funny, brain. God, Ry, shut up.] Be okay. Gonna be okay. I'm -- okay, n'so r'you, s-so. Gonna be okay. Okay?
[He shakes his head and keeps shaking it. He doesn't want her to blame herself. He wants that least of all. They wouldn't have done this if not for his stupid need to spare the dead.
But even that isn't the true issue here. The problem is that when the hoard came down, he ran. He ran. And she had to handle it alone.
He pulls his own sweater on, giving himself something to hide in as well as giving her the time to cover up. It really wasn't a tits-out conversation, but it had spilled out before he could stop it. The jacket follows, pulled overtop.]
In this... together... Both okay... [He's repeating after her, trying to calm down. She's okay, so he's okay, so they're both okay.]
Was working... our plan... it worked... But I... [His hands open and close, wanting to reach out for her, but unable.] Don't want to... leave you... again... Don't want to... lose you... I was... so scared...
[It's a shame. If they were both a little better at speaking, Teo could explain that he hates abandoning her to the hoard, and Ryder could tell him that it wasn't the hoard he left in her hands.
'We've gotten... this far... I handle the dead... you handle the living...'
She'd protested her ability, thinking it impossible for her, but she'd never actually shut it down. It was the plan. So far, all their plans have (mostly) worked.
Ryder nods her agreement, sniffling again to try ridding herself of the lingering snot problem. While she doesn't reach for him in the same way that she wants her, her fingers still come to lightly touch the end of his sleeve and his wrist.]
Yeah.
[Neither of them wants to lose the other. No leaving.
...Though that makes, uh, something a little more difficult. How was she going to justify the whole hospital situation -- to him and the survivors? Fuck it, that's future Ryder's problem. She turns to look over her shoulder and search for Maddy, frown turning from misery to thoughtfulness.]
Goggles -- down. [As much as she likes getting to see more of him, relishing the intimacy it required, it really wasn't safe.] I wanna take 'em to -- our apartment. If it's safe. Find out what they want. Th-then we can get them to leave. I think -- I h-hope we. If we help, they'll -- leave?
[And it...will be another test. If that dumb inn fantasy she told him about can really happen.]
Would you be -- able to whisper just to me? I don't want them being shitty if -- they hear you, but...
[She grips his sleeve. It's the closest they can get to the embrace they want. He closes his eyes a moment, inclining his head her way in lieu of leaning against her. He wishes he could. He wants the solidity. He wants to rest and breathe and be safe.
But this is the apocalypse. Not even he gets that luxury all the time.
He bobs his head and obeys, drawing the goggles down over his eyes. He tugs his gaiter up more to meet it.]
Okay... good plan...
[More a plan than he has. His means of pushing survivors on usually involved leaving gifts. He suspects that wouldn't have panned out so well with these ones.]
I can do that... Jus' tell 'em... Got scratched... long ago... 's true... More or less...
[Well, the particulars of the excuse didn't matter so much, really. If she has things her way, they won't be spending much time around the survivors to chat them up anyway. She returns her attention back to him to ensure he didn't have anything obviously out of place, leaving his status questionable, and is about to reach out to pull his hood over his head when he shocks her. Ryder frowns, her expression partly offended, but mostly confused and sad. She steadies herself with a breath, glancing down to the little space between them instead.]
'How many slams in an old screen door? Depends how loud you shut it. How many slices in a bread? Depends how thin you cut it. How much good inside a day? Depends how good you live 'em. How much love inside a friend? Depends how much you give 'em.'
[There's so much more she wants to say. So much more she wants to do. Why don't they have time? Why does it have to be that, even if they did have time, she can't do or say all the things she feels in a rush of emotions she doesn't understand. If she's a good friend, he's a better one. All the love inside her had been given or found again by him.
Ryder doesn't answer, even though she tries, and winds up just clearing her throat before checking him again and turning to reach for the car door. Already she can feel that love being covered in a layer of dirt at the prospect of interacting with these other people again... Well. Burying it was probably the better thing to to, both for his safety and...hers. Stupid infectious death.
A scowl is already on her face as she pulls herself from the car and settles her gaze back on Maddy. The stilted manner of her words won't be anything new to Teo, but there's a clipped, annoyed roughness that he'd managed to skip past, thanks to the circumstances of their meeting.]
-- Ready. Taking you first, or heading -- back for -- other two?
[What are introductions? If only she could say it was purely a desire to take focus off him, but unfortunately she just sucks at the social game.]
[She turns away to step out, and so, he does too. He draws a breath for his nerves and pushes the car door open. He steps out slow and resists the impulse to lift his hands in the air like the girl outside's a cop. Truth is, she's probably worse for something like him.
Clipped roughness is new from Ryder, but he can't say he's all that surprised. Other survivors were a risk on a good day. This, thus far, has not been a good day.
She looks about their age, this one, himself, and Ryder. Maybe younger than him or older than Ryder, it's hard to tell. Especially these days where it only matters so much and can barely be tracked. He moves around the car to Ryder, settling in a little behind her, and the girl watches with narrowed eyes. She takes her time to actually answer.]
I'm scouting first. They'll be waiting.
[Which is probably code for "don't try anything funny." She looks at him.]
Name?
[Teo looks from her to Ryder and back.]
...Teo...?
[A downward twinge to her brow.]
Alright, Teo. What the hell'd you take off for? You know ditched your partner?
[It takes no time at all for Ryder to step forward, interrupting before she even stops to realize it could be interrupting. Or that it's usually better when she keeps her mouth shut.]
Shut the fuck up, you don't know shit! What the fuck is your problem? None y'r fucking business how we work -- christ, it's your fucking fault, and I said we'll fucking help you anyway, quit being a pack of assholes! He's my partner, the fuck do you care? Fuck off. God.
[She's shaking her head and starting back in the direction she's pretty sure the apartment is in before the situation hits her again and gets her jaw to clench. It's true, but maybe she shouldn't say it... Especially not like that. At the same time: fuck these guys!! Ungrateful. She could have done this without them, it was just -- faster. Ugh. Well, that's another L in the social interaction column, which wouldn't normally make it feel like caterpillars are squirming around in her stomach this hard... Some squirm, sure! But she was used to it.
...Teo was not. Fucking hell. What if he realized just how stupid it was to be around her? She sucked! Fuck. Goddamn it, Ryder. It would almost be a kindness for Maddy or the other girl whose name starts with C to strike her down. Then everyone could be on their merry way! Happy ending for all! Stupid, stupid...]
[The girl's berating stings. It sticks right into the wound and pulls. It hits something distantly familiar too, a dozen old teardowns that he can feel under the surface like ridges in ice. Something familiar. He just needs to reach a little further.
Ryder steps up. Immediately, she's at his defence, and this is isn't familiar at all but he feels it just as sharply, breath catching. He knew she felt that way, but still, to hear it like this...
Teo reaches out. He reaches for her sleeve, tugging it gently between his fingers. It's the closest he can get to grasping her hand.]
It's okay...
[She knows him. That's what matters.
The other girl looks them both up and down once again. Her mouth presses.]
Hm. Fine. Your partner, your business. Let's get going then.
[She's still fretting...and also pretty steamed, but both those feelings are tempered by the slightest tug of Teo's hold on her sleeve. If she were the big predator cat she dreamed of being, her ears would be pinned flat to her head and her tail swinging with barely-restrained irritation. She'd be ready to play volleyball with this girl's head. Instead, she's a regular-ass girl, same as the other, and not in a particularly great position to be snapping at her. Ryder might huff and cross her arms if she didn't worry that would make her shirt slip from Teo's fingers. As it is, her venom is probably already melting into an obvious sulk.
Right. She's the one with the info and the one with the less busted voice. She wants to chew the absolute hell out of her lip, ugh.]
...The old guy -- dad? [Not that it mattered for her to look back to Teo and half-grumble an explanation.] Ground with us, before. But -- Maddy n'other girl -- with guns. Don' remember names. Keeping w-watch, now. Up. [Oh, actually -- ] They use hand -- signals. S'cool.
[The bitterness even melted away like it was never there, for that comment! It was really cool!! She wants Teo to know!!!]
...Were trying to -- help. Nice to meet them. I guess.
[Yeah. She's right. It's cool. He taps his covered chin.]
Hand signals... We should... try that...
[Lord knows they both struggled with speaking in their own ways. But helping made sense. Even if that guy had scared the hell out of him.]
She's my sister. Cecily. And yeah, I guess you could say he's my dad, though we don't call him that.
[Now that they're back on the move, or at least soon to be, Maddy's back to watching the surroundings for any lingering dead. She spots a few up ahead, distant enough they're not running for them. Yet. But she's ready.]
So what're you two doing in the city? You know it's infested out here."
[She can get started on that right away -- Ryder offers a thumbs up. Fuck yeah. Hand signals.
But then her attention is drawn back to Maddy, eyebrows raised in an interest that she would rather not explain, because even if it were the case (and it most certainly is not), the thoughts she has about their relationship aren't exactly polite conversation. They might not call him dad, but what about...something close to and very, very far away from that?
No, okay, head out of the gutter. Maddy's unfortunately right again -- the city's infested.]
S'everywhere.
[Like, it's just kinda the way the world was, now. Speaking of -- sure are some zombies up there. Ryder looks over to Teo again, and minutely mimes holding a bow and drawing back an arrow with a grimace. A questioning noise accompanies it. Not only would it go against his desire to live and let live, there was also the fact that he used those arrows for hunting... He'd been willing to shoot to protect her, but was it worth it now, if only to seem less suspicious...?
She doesn't linger on him long enough for an answer, or even to see if he was able to understand her silent communication. Back to lying. For good reasons!]
How I know -- we can do it. Get stuff. Told you... Our city.
[Hell yeah, thumbs up right back. Maddy totally isn't deadeying this.
The thumbs up lowers and his hand droops down. He looks from Ryder to the dead, brows pulling together. He... doesn't want to. He really doesn't. But this girl is here and he's already let Ryder down.
He reaches back for his bow and then an arrow. He lines up the shot. Don't drag her down, Teo. Don't you drag her down with you. There's the familiar snap of air from the loosed air. He watches one of the dead pair fall. The other doesn't so much notice this as it does the sound, and then them.
The undead snarls and starts to rush them. He lines up another shot.
Only for the creature to drop with a faint thud, a knife lodged in. He turns and Maddy straightens out of a throwing stance.]
It is. But it doesn't have to be.
[Maddy's reply regards the dead.]
Everyone thinks the key to survival is holing up and playing defense. But for how long does that actually work? Avoiding the dead isn't enough. It only helps youself. For some that's the most they can do. For others it's cowardice. A lack of initiative.
You know less than half actually turned in the outbreak? Some people were killed, some got into accidents, some took their own lives, and others simply died. Heart attacks, not taking to the infection, not being up on their shots. And of course, there's all the ones who were eaten alive. That's only a portion of the population actually turned. Still more of those are put down by survivors. There's only so many out there.
The dead... need to be exterminated. Cecily and I have been training since we were born. This is what we're here for. So I'll tell you, this really can be your city, for as long as you work with us. What we want is no less than the survival of everyone.
[Teo feels sick. He feels cold and dizzy. He can't even tell if that speech was ridiculous or inspiring, he's too busy trying not to let his hands shake as he tucks away his bow.
Everyone. Everyone but him. He stupidly latches on to the most irrelevant part.]
Apocalypse was... only... years ago... not even... how...?
Are you going to suggest that being prepared for this was stupid? Because if you haven't noticed, it's happening.
[The more Maddy says, the less Ryder likes her, and the girl hadn’t exactly started out in the highest of graces. It doesn’t matter that she takes out the other undead so that Teo doesn’t have to — even if what she was saying wasn’t making Ryder’s tension rise like it was a word counter, she wouldn’t have liked that, admittedly. It was still not the way she’d do things, especially now that she knows it’s possible for them to become more. Though...becoming more is what Maddy’s icky “family” is trying to stop. They want fewer and fewer until there were none left, and then the world would be saved.
It’s both a surprise and not to hear the statistics. How could she possibly know? But it wasn’t like she didn’t see it happen around her, as detached as she tried to be. No, the real question that disturbs her...]
...Soldiers. Y-you’re child soldiers.
[This man that they could say was their dad but didn’t had raised them for this their whole life? Who cares if it did eventually happen, and that the girls weren’t children anymore? That’s — she’s pretty sure that’s child abuse?
She wants to throw up. She wants to throw a tantrum — maybe an axe into that sicko’s head. What she won’t throw away is the story she’s drafted for herself and Teo, as ridiculous as it is. Especially not now, with people like this to balance idiots like her out. Plus...the picture Maddy paints shouldn’t be making her feel so sick, and she knows it.
Ryder swallows down the urges, as well as the one to reach out and take Teo’s hand in hers.]
Not us. We want to l-live. ‘n start thinking ‘bout long — term.
[She’s glad he put his bow away. Why did she make him do that? Fuck, she’s sorry, Teo. Ryder shakes her head, scowl overtaking her, as she thinks that the only thing she wants to do for these people is get them supplied and kick them out. She tries to hold her temper back. They didn’t need her causing more problems, even though there’s so much more she wants to argue about. It was already a bad situation, and one they might end up having to leave, rather than holding strong. She has to start trying to mentally prepare herself for that. She tucks those plans next to the bitter, hostile thoughts about Maddy and Crew’s philosophy. What the fuck. Can’t believe she’s met the villains of their video game, and it’s the ones acting as “the good guys”. She just wants to be a hermit and let Teo be happy and sort-of-alive, for fuck’s sake.]
‘partment’s this way — a bit yet. S’been — couple, like I said... Dunno how it is, but it will work. While you guys s-stay.
[It should be pretty damn clear, see as it was the first of the two hordes the pair accidentally led to the slaughter. Even if they got these people out as quick as possible... The population had dwindled quite a lot already. Definitely no need for their help, when Teo would have ensured they were fine already.]
[Ryder's definitely more on the ball than he is, asking the relevant questions. She's also fighting valiantly to control herself, he can see, the little things that he can read from her face to her fingers. She's putting his attempts at faking humanity to complete shame.
He moves closer, bumping his arms to her side in lieu of holding on. He wants to hold on.
Maddy doesn't show much of a reaction to that accusation. She barely shrugs.]
Someone has to be. Might as well be me.
[Me, she says. Not us. He wonders at that, but he doesn't ask. He nods along with what Ryder says. Just want to live. He just wants to live. It's not really a lie at all. He wants to stay with Ryder and push things out as long as they can. It feels like the living, more than the dead, keep getting in the way of that now.
But no. That's not fair. It was the dead that took over this world, the dead that hurt people. And Ryder is alive. He wants to keep her that way. What would he even do if he didn't have her now? If he'd met these people alone. He has a feeling that he'd probably be dead.
He follows at Ryder's side, willing his gratitude to be felt by her. Magically, he supposes. He asks Maddy--]
Statistics...? How...?
[Another half-shrug.]
Higher connections. At least before that fell apart. Shame.
[Her tone doesn't suggest it was a shame. He doesn't want to ask further.
They walk until they come up to that apartment. His shoulders sag at the sight. All these people... he did that. It was necessary. It was for Ryder. But he still did it.
He didn't have this much of a damn moral issue before. Sure, he'd prefer to spare what he could, but it didn't feel like this.]
[Ryder nearly jumps out of her skin when she's reminded that she isn't just a guard dog on alert, but an agitated companion, when Teo brushes against her. Like a reassuring hand starting on her head and smoothing down raised hackles until her growling ceased. Like a guard dog, she doesn't let her wariness of the threat drop, too fueled by that lo -- companionship to let go. Later, she's going to get the tightest fucking hugs in the world. Fuck this.
She's making flippant comments again, and Ryder can feel the silent growl steadily coming back. That's not true. She knows that's not true. The necessity of how Maddy's life is and how it came to be is another bullet in the chamber of a gun Ryder may never shoot. She wasn't a gun person, after all. Higher connections. That's another bullet. Gosh, these people are shitty. She's going to die and come back just so she can bite their faces off... Except that if she does that, then Teo would be left alone and, for some reason, extremely upset for her personally. She wonders if that's really that unbelievable now, considering the whole emotional support zombie thing that has her actually invested in the people that once existed, not just clocking the wandering husks as dangers.]
Nothing ever -- came down. Undead behind doors if -- they were there. Shouldn't... Um, might be different.
[LOOK, SHE JUST REALLY DOESN'T WANT TO BE BLAMED IF THOSE OTHER SURVIVORS CAME BACK AND FUCKED THEIR SHIT UP. That's what has her wavering on going further. If the undead got around somehow, sending Teo out ahead would be the better idea...but if there are survivors, it should be her. They're a unit, in Maddy's eyes -- and in reality, but not usually in the scouting sense. They should both go. But why would they insist on going without Maddy? Sending her first is suspicious as hell. So it's fucking all of them or no one. Which is also a dumb fucking idea. Here they go...!
Ryder creeps down the hall, axe in hand, trying to be as quiet as she can so that she can hear if there's someone other than the two others with her moving about the apartments. It's a spooky sound these days, buildings. Creaks and groans could be anything. They echoed a little more than they used to, for some reason. Furniture moved to block things off instead of cushioning the sound, maybe. Their door is closed. That doesn't mean anything. Cautiously, after making sure Teo and Maddy are in position like how she would see on television, where police would invade a home to find a criminal, she turns the knob and pushes it open.
It looks just how they left it, books on the floor. She wanders in, axe slack at her side again, to pick it up.]
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storywalks) wrote2021-11-17 08:42 pm
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When she sees girls, some of the tension instantly melts away. It's not like Ryder can get along with girls any better than guys -- she didn't understand most girls -- but there was more safety in numbers. Even if they were on this guy's side, there would still be that solidarity, right? Plus one of them -- Cecilia? Or Cecily? Shit. Which one was she? Is that -- is that both of them? No, that other one was Maddison. Fuck. Shit, fuck, okay. Point is: C looks pretty rad. She'd want her on her apocalypse team, if she was the kind to build an apocalypse team and function well on it. Drawn into composing the rest of this hypothetical team, Ryder jumps when she realizes she's being addressed again. Oh, fuck. She forgot how to be pissed. No -- still pissed, just. Not sure how to be on the offensive.]
...I'm not explaining shit. But we really can -- get almost anything. He even -- he got medicine for me before. [Ehhh, hmm...] I dunno if it's still... These other jackasses ruined one of our spots. We still had food and shit stocked. Water in -- toilet tanks. If you can make sure I don't die looking for him, I'll take you there. Might still be okay. N'you -- can give us a list.
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"Working toilets? And food? Aw, can we go, we gotta--"
[The man shoots her a sharp look and her pink runners stop kicking. He makes an attempt to salvage things, speaking pointedly to Ryder and Cecily both.]
We don't tend to be the sort to stay in one place. A nice night might be only one single night.
But the medicine is still worth the place and more. [Maddison doesn't seem to like speaking up against her Father, given the way she frowns, but she sticks to it.] We've been understocked. I don't think we should pass this up.
[He all but growls, narrowing his eyes at his daughters. But then, he faces Ryder again.]
Take my eldest on ground. [Maddison starts climbing back down.] Cecilia, back on watch--
"What! I wanted to go..."
On. Watch. Until your sister returns. [And to Ryder.] I'd better not regret this. [With Maddison down and stepping to Ryder's side, the man starts climbing up in her stead. The girl nods without a lick of enthusiasm.]
Maddy Graves. Nice to meet you.
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She's grateful Maddison -- Maddy, much better -- doesn't put her hand out, or anything like that. The "nice to meet you" is already over the top. It's very much not nice to meet them? Ryder was fully willing to let their dad get eaten. Still, they could help each other, and it was better to know where the survivors were, if they were going to be sticking around. She's already turning before she remembers that she should probably introduce herself in turn, and mumbles,]
Ryder Mm -- [No, wait. If she has a last name, Teo should have a last name, and he didn't. Did...Teo even know what her last name was? She should tell him. It makes her want to cry, and so does the painful stiffness in her fingers settling in from gripping her axe too tightly.] ...'Graves' is -- cool.
[An apocalypse-fitting name, like Ryder. Ish.
God, she doesn't want to fucking talk to this girl!!! She was a better option than her dad, but talking at all sounds like torture. For Teo. This is your part, remember? He does the dead, you do the living. Suck it up. Suck it the fuck up? Yeah. Suck it the fuck up.]
Be quiet. [Wait, shit -- ] I m-mean -- stealth. Guns aren't our -- thing. An' lemme go ahead.
[She needs to reach Teo before Maddy does. At the very least, he needs to have his coat on again before he's stuck interacting with these people. Anything that could help protect him a little longer.]
Okay. Let's -- let's go.
[Ryder moves a little faster than she would have on her own, too eager to find him. The sooner they found Teo, the sooner they could get these people some supplies, and the sooner they'd be on their way. They could get back to their peaceful lives. It's not until they're closer to where things had gone from bad to worse that she starts to heed her surroundings more, going up to vehicles to peek into the windows and checking other places he reasonably could be waiting for her. As much as she wants to throw caution to the wind, leaving Maddy to make up for how careless she is, Ryder forces herself to maintain the idea that she's gotten this far into the apocalypse for a reason. That didn't all go away because of some man being around to protect her! It doesn't matter how badly her nerves are consuming her, this is their life now. Just...a life together, instead. She has to keep living for it to work. These people have to believe in the value she has to help her. Only good reasons to keep a level head, as excruciating as that is.
God, she wants to yell for him. This sucks.]
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I guess. Didn't pick it.
[Absolutely knocking it out of the park with the conversation thing. She's just checking her ammo when Ryder effectively tells her to shut up. She pauses, looking up with a lifted brow. Stealth, huh? She closes the gun back up, fixing in place over her shoulder, then draws a knife.]
I wouldn't worry. [Not the least because the guns were only partly for killing and drawing out the undead hoards.
Maddy follows after Ryder, heeding her command. She steps out only to cut between Ryder and any approaching undead. As if it were nothing, Maddy cuts through them, taking heads off shoulders in quick but forceful motions, then moving along. She displays even more confidence in the work than her father. She pauses only once, nudging a dead motorcyclist with her shoe. Then, she reaches down and yanks the helmet the rest of the way off, then attaching it on to a strap at her hip.
Two, three cars down, Teo starts to lift his head up in rear window, goggles and messy hair as before. He starts to lift a hand too, only to spot the other person tailing Ryder. He drops back down.]
So were you serious? About that medicine thing?
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She's a little surprised at Maddy's -- not efficiency or skill. That, she sort of expected, with their group kitted out the way they were and them being able to run on hand signals. Her approach, maybe? Willingness? It's not as if Ryder isn't armed herself, but -- well. She had asked them to help retrieve her partner. It wouldn't be a stretch for them to believe she isn't capable. At least it means she can focus her efforts on looking.
Was that...?]
Huh?
[She's a little surprised to have the other girl speaking again. A beat later when the question registers, she can't help the scowl that settles into place. Man, survivors are assholes. Maybe not these guys -- that's still to be determined -- but the fact that she keeps being asked this? Do people lie that much? Of course they do.]
M'serious. [This is miserable. How is she supposed to convince this girl while she's also trying to cook up an excuse to make her keep some distance?] Um, he... Th-there were others ssssurvivors. Went t'hospital. Dunno what they grabbed, or -- if they got out. E-ever went in. I dunno. W-we'll look, though. Get -- much as we can, of what you need. Y-you'd just -- shoot us. If I lied.
[Okay. That's definitely a body in that car so she's praying it's him! A little jog and a flood of relief where she cheers his name later, she's wheeling to face Maddy again.]
So, um. Um. [Good god. She's going to die.] We were kinda. Um. Interrupted. [Fuck her life... She starts to slip an arm out of her borrowed coat.] But it looks -- like he grabbed my, um. Grabbedmybra, s-so would you mind -- little space? While, uh, I change in the car?
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Maddy's eyes narrow a little at the scowl, but it's not enough to determine anything either which way. She does look thoughtful at the idea of shooting her.]
...That depends. You might be more useful alive.
[A statement that is surely not at all concerning. Though whatever cool expression she had is shattered in a moment. She goes through confusion, then dawning horror, before settling on disgust and disbelief.]
You two were fucking out here?
[She doesn't wait for an answer. She sucks a breath, lifts her hands up (bloody weapon and all), and turns her back.]
Change. And you better not try to finish whatever you two started.
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She makes some kind of strangled noise that is probably meant to assure Maddy that she won't be doing anything like that -- for multiple reasons -- and when the girl turns away, she opens the car, pushes herself inside, and slams it shut behind her. The coat is already off before she starts speaking in a quick, hushed tone. Her face is still flushed red with mortification.]
I'm so, so s-sorry, fuck. N-needed an -- excuse to give these -- back.
[There's no time to waffle over being topless and facing him in such close quarters. Off the hoodie goes, too! Not like it matters. Not like he would want to see or touch her even if he wasn't infected. She doesn't need to remind him to hurry to put them back on, either.]
I said we -- would find supplies for them. Medicine. Sorry. There's -- two others, another girl and probably -- dad? [She's reaching for her bra when she catches up to her panic and stares at him with wide, worried eyes.] A-are you okay?
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He's staring at her, wide-eyed. His goggles are lifted onto his brows to look at her, even at the risk of being seen. His hand goes out to her face and hovers, not touching. Never touching.]
... I'm sorry...
[His expression twists into one of misery, despite the relief he feels.]
I shouldn't have... left you... I left... you... I didn't mean... I'm sorry...
[He saw it of course. It was a slaughter but she managed to keep it on his side, not hers, and for that he's so, so relieved. She could've died. Just like that. And all for some stupid mercy to beings that weren't even capable of appreciating it.
Ryder gets her wish. His hand draws back to press at his eyes, but in the split second before that, a noxious black liquid wells at the corners and just starts to spill. He ducks his head until he's sure it's back under control.]
Shouldn't have... done this... Risked you... for nothing... 'm sorry...
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Teo... Teo, no. Y-you -- [She wants to hold him. She wants him to hold her. She wants to be back at the hotel, lazily resting together and happy because time and the outside world didn't exist. They don't have enough time for this.] You didn't leave -- m-me. If -- What would I have -- done, if you had stayed? If I wasn't -- here to...to...
[Shit, yeah, those are tears. She draws her hands back to herself to bury her face, partly mortified but mostly needing to hold something, and if she gets to wipe someone's tears away, then maybe that will help ease the ache of not being able to. No touching his tears to comfort him, hide them, or even marvel at them, like that sick, twisted part of her brain still desires. It's ink. Ink on a man that's otherwise a blank book, telling a story that's messy and not just imagined or hoped for... And she loves stories. She loves his inky tears. She hates that she's seeing them.]
Please don't -- This is my fault. It was mmmy -- idea. All of it. Please, Teo, just --
[Oh. It really is all her fault. Weirdly, that makes her feel...better? There's no one to blame but herself -- and, uh, the assholes that were just doing the sensible survivor thing accidentally fucking their plan up. Ryder's still going to blame them. Pettily. The only bad thing about causing all this is that it's made things so difficult for Teo and crushed his hopes. Her unrealistic little fantasy world wasn't real, and these are the consequences. She hurt him through his self-blame and put the both of them in danger.
Ryder sniffles and forces herself to move again, putting on her bra finally and following it with her shirt.]
We're -- W-we're in this -- together. [For better and for worse, in sickness and in health -- haha, very funny, brain. God, Ry, shut up.] Be okay. Gonna be okay. I'm -- okay, n'so r'you, s-so. Gonna be okay. Okay?
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But even that isn't the true issue here. The problem is that when the hoard came down, he ran. He ran. And she had to handle it alone.
He pulls his own sweater on, giving himself something to hide in as well as giving her the time to cover up. It really wasn't a tits-out conversation, but it had spilled out before he could stop it. The jacket follows, pulled overtop.]
In this... together... Both okay... [He's repeating after her, trying to calm down. She's okay, so he's okay, so they're both okay.]
Was working... our plan... it worked... But I... [His hands open and close, wanting to reach out for her, but unable.] Don't want to... leave you... again... Don't want to... lose you... I was... so scared...
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'We've gotten... this far... I handle the dead... you handle the living...'
She'd protested her ability, thinking it impossible for her, but she'd never actually shut it down. It was the plan. So far, all their plans have (mostly) worked.
Ryder nods her agreement, sniffling again to try ridding herself of the lingering snot problem. While she doesn't reach for him in the same way that she wants her, her fingers still come to lightly touch the end of his sleeve and his wrist.]
Yeah.
[Neither of them wants to lose the other. No leaving.
...Though that makes, uh, something a little more difficult. How was she going to justify the whole hospital situation -- to him and the survivors? Fuck it, that's future Ryder's problem. She turns to look over her shoulder and search for Maddy, frown turning from misery to thoughtfulness.]
Goggles -- down. [As much as she likes getting to see more of him, relishing the intimacy it required, it really wasn't safe.] I wanna take 'em to -- our apartment. If it's safe. Find out what they want. Th-then we can get them to leave. I think -- I h-hope we. If we help, they'll -- leave?
[And it...will be another test. If that dumb inn fantasy she told him about can really happen.]
Would you be -- able to whisper just to me? I don't want them being shitty if -- they hear you, but...
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But this is the apocalypse. Not even he gets that luxury all the time.
He bobs his head and obeys, drawing the goggles down over his eyes. He tugs his gaiter up more to meet it.]
Okay... good plan...
[More a plan than he has. His means of pushing survivors on usually involved leaving gifts. He suspects that wouldn't have panned out so well with these ones.]
I can do that... Jus' tell 'em... Got scratched... long ago... 's true... More or less...
[There's one more thing that nags at him.]
...Ryder...? Thank you... for coming back...
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[Well, the particulars of the excuse didn't matter so much, really. If she has things her way, they won't be spending much time around the survivors to chat them up anyway. She returns her attention back to him to ensure he didn't have anything obviously out of place, leaving his status questionable, and is about to reach out to pull his hood over his head when he shocks her. Ryder frowns, her expression partly offended, but mostly confused and sad. She steadies herself with a breath, glancing down to the little space between them instead.]
'How many slams in an old screen door?
Depends how loud you shut it.
How many slices in a bread?
Depends how thin you cut it.
How much good inside a day?
Depends how good you live 'em.
How much love inside a friend?
Depends how much you give 'em.'
...H-how could I not?
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He hears himself make a noise. He's not sure what it is himself. He ducks his head and wills himself not to start goddamn crying again.]
I don't know... Just felt... needed to say it...
[He smiles behind his gaiter.]
You're a good friend...
[And he's got a whole lot of love inside him. He pulls his hood up himself and takes one last steadying breath.]
Guess we should... go out there...
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Ryder doesn't answer, even though she tries, and winds up just clearing her throat before checking him again and turning to reach for the car door. Already she can feel that love being covered in a layer of dirt at the prospect of interacting with these other people again... Well. Burying it was probably the better thing to to, both for his safety and...hers. Stupid infectious death.
A scowl is already on her face as she pulls herself from the car and settles her gaze back on Maddy. The stilted manner of her words won't be anything new to Teo, but there's a clipped, annoyed roughness that he'd managed to skip past, thanks to the circumstances of their meeting.]
-- Ready. Taking you first, or heading -- back for -- other two?
[What are introductions? If only she could say it was purely a desire to take focus off him, but unfortunately she just sucks at the social game.]
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Clipped roughness is new from Ryder, but he can't say he's all that surprised. Other survivors were a risk on a good day. This, thus far, has not been a good day.
She looks about their age, this one, himself, and Ryder. Maybe younger than him or older than Ryder, it's hard to tell. Especially these days where it only matters so much and can barely be tracked. He moves around the car to Ryder, settling in a little behind her, and the girl watches with narrowed eyes. She takes her time to actually answer.]
I'm scouting first. They'll be waiting.
[Which is probably code for "don't try anything funny." She looks at him.]
Name?
[Teo looks from her to Ryder and back.]
...Teo...?
[A downward twinge to her brow.]
Alright, Teo. What the hell'd you take off for? You know ditched your partner?
I-
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Shut the fuck up, you don't know shit! What the fuck is your problem? None y'r fucking business how we work -- christ, it's your fucking fault, and I said we'll fucking help you anyway, quit being a pack of assholes! He's my partner, the fuck do you care? Fuck off. God.
[She's shaking her head and starting back in the direction she's pretty sure the apartment is in before the situation hits her again and gets her jaw to clench. It's true, but maybe she shouldn't say it... Especially not like that. At the same time: fuck these guys!! Ungrateful. She could have done this without them, it was just -- faster. Ugh. Well, that's another L in the social interaction column, which wouldn't normally make it feel like caterpillars are squirming around in her stomach this hard... Some squirm, sure! But she was used to it.
...Teo was not. Fucking hell. What if he realized just how stupid it was to be around her? She sucked! Fuck. Goddamn it, Ryder. It would almost be a kindness for Maddy or the other girl whose name starts with C to strike her down. Then everyone could be on their merry way! Happy ending for all! Stupid, stupid...]
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Ryder steps up. Immediately, she's at his defence, and this is isn't familiar at all but he feels it just as sharply, breath catching. He knew she felt that way, but still, to hear it like this...
Teo reaches out. He reaches for her sleeve, tugging it gently between his fingers. It's the closest he can get to grasping her hand.]
It's okay...
[She knows him. That's what matters.
The other girl looks them both up and down once again. Her mouth presses.]
Hm. Fine. Your partner, your business. Let's get going then.
[And then, just to Teo.]
It's Maddy, by the way.
[He glances between the two.]
Nice... to meet you...?
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Right. She's the one with the info and the one with the less busted voice. She wants to chew the absolute hell out of her lip, ugh.]
...The old guy -- dad? [Not that it mattered for her to look back to Teo and half-grumble an explanation.] Ground with us, before. But -- Maddy n'other girl -- with guns. Don' remember names. Keeping w-watch, now. Up. [Oh, actually -- ] They use hand -- signals. S'cool.
[The bitterness even melted away like it was never there, for that comment! It was really cool!! She wants Teo to know!!!]
...Were trying to -- help. Nice to meet them. I guess.
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Hand signals... We should... try that...
[Lord knows they both struggled with speaking in their own ways. But helping made sense. Even if that guy had scared the hell out of him.]
She's my sister. Cecily. And yeah, I guess you could say he's my dad, though we don't call him that.
[Now that they're back on the move, or at least soon to be, Maddy's back to watching the surroundings for any lingering dead. She spots a few up ahead, distant enough they're not running for them. Yet. But she's ready.]
So what're you two doing in the city? You know it's infested out here."
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But then her attention is drawn back to Maddy, eyebrows raised in an interest that she would rather not explain, because even if it were the case (and it most certainly is not), the thoughts she has about their relationship aren't exactly polite conversation. They might not call him dad, but what about...something close to and very, very far away from that?
No, okay, head out of the gutter. Maddy's unfortunately right again -- the city's infested.]
S'everywhere.
[Like, it's just kinda the way the world was, now. Speaking of -- sure are some zombies up there. Ryder looks over to Teo again, and minutely mimes holding a bow and drawing back an arrow with a grimace. A questioning noise accompanies it. Not only would it go against his desire to live and let live, there was also the fact that he used those arrows for hunting... He'd been willing to shoot to protect her, but was it worth it now, if only to seem less suspicious...?
She doesn't linger on him long enough for an answer, or even to see if he was able to understand her silent communication. Back to lying. For good reasons!]
How I know -- we can do it. Get stuff. Told you... Our city.
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The thumbs up lowers and his hand droops down. He looks from Ryder to the dead, brows pulling together. He... doesn't want to. He really doesn't. But this girl is here and he's already let Ryder down.
He reaches back for his bow and then an arrow. He lines up the shot. Don't drag her down, Teo. Don't you drag her down with you. There's the familiar snap of air from the loosed air. He watches one of the dead pair fall. The other doesn't so much notice this as it does the sound, and then them.
The undead snarls and starts to rush them. He lines up another shot.
Only for the creature to drop with a faint thud, a knife lodged in. He turns and Maddy straightens out of a throwing stance.]
It is. But it doesn't have to be.
[Maddy's reply regards the dead.]
Everyone thinks the key to survival is holing up and playing defense. But for how long does that actually work? Avoiding the dead isn't enough. It only helps youself. For some that's the most they can do. For others it's cowardice. A lack of initiative.
You know less than half actually turned in the outbreak? Some people were killed, some got into accidents, some took their own lives, and others simply died. Heart attacks, not taking to the infection, not being up on their shots. And of course, there's all the ones who were eaten alive. That's only a portion of the population actually turned. Still more of those are put down by survivors. There's only so many out there.
The dead... need to be exterminated. Cecily and I have been training since we were born. This is what we're here for. So I'll tell you, this really can be your city, for as long as you work with us. What we want is no less than the survival of everyone.
[Teo feels sick. He feels cold and dizzy. He can't even tell if that speech was ridiculous or inspiring, he's too busy trying not to let his hands shake as he tucks away his bow.
Everyone. Everyone but him. He stupidly latches on to the most irrelevant part.]
Apocalypse was... only... years ago... not even... how...?
Are you going to suggest that being prepared for this was stupid? Because if you haven't noticed, it's happening.
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It’s both a surprise and not to hear the statistics. How could she possibly know? But it wasn’t like she didn’t see it happen around her, as detached as she tried to be. No, the real question that disturbs her...]
...Soldiers. Y-you’re child soldiers.
[This man that they could say was their dad but didn’t had raised them for this their whole life? Who cares if it did eventually happen, and that the girls weren’t children anymore? That’s — she’s pretty sure that’s child abuse?
She wants to throw up. She wants to throw a tantrum — maybe an axe into that sicko’s head. What she won’t throw away is the story she’s drafted for herself and Teo, as ridiculous as it is. Especially not now, with people like this to balance idiots like her out. Plus...the picture Maddy paints shouldn’t be making her feel so sick, and she knows it.
Ryder swallows down the urges, as well as the one to reach out and take Teo’s hand in hers.]
Not us. We want to l-live. ‘n start thinking ‘bout long — term.
[She’s glad he put his bow away. Why did she make him do that? Fuck, she’s sorry, Teo. Ryder shakes her head, scowl overtaking her, as she thinks that the only thing she wants to do for these people is get them supplied and kick them out. She tries to hold her temper back. They didn’t need her causing more problems, even though there’s so much more she wants to argue about. It was already a bad situation, and one they might end up having to leave, rather than holding strong. She has to start trying to mentally prepare herself for that. She tucks those plans next to the bitter, hostile thoughts about Maddy and Crew’s philosophy. What the fuck. Can’t believe she’s met the villains of their video game, and it’s the ones acting as “the good guys”. She just wants to be a hermit and let Teo be happy and sort-of-alive, for fuck’s sake.]
‘partment’s this way — a bit yet. S’been — couple, like I said... Dunno how it is, but it will work. While you guys s-stay.
[It should be pretty damn clear, see as it was the first of the two hordes the pair accidentally led to the slaughter. Even if they got these people out as quick as possible... The population had dwindled quite a lot already. Definitely no need for their help, when Teo would have ensured they were fine already.]
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He moves closer, bumping his arms to her side in lieu of holding on. He wants to hold on.
Maddy doesn't show much of a reaction to that accusation. She barely shrugs.]
Someone has to be. Might as well be me.
[Me, she says. Not us. He wonders at that, but he doesn't ask. He nods along with what Ryder says. Just want to live. He just wants to live. It's not really a lie at all. He wants to stay with Ryder and push things out as long as they can. It feels like the living, more than the dead, keep getting in the way of that now.
But no. That's not fair. It was the dead that took over this world, the dead that hurt people. And Ryder is alive. He wants to keep her that way. What would he even do if he didn't have her now? If he'd met these people alone. He has a feeling that he'd probably be dead.
He follows at Ryder's side, willing his gratitude to be felt by her. Magically, he supposes. He asks Maddy--]
Statistics...? How...?
[Another half-shrug.]
Higher connections. At least before that fell apart. Shame.
[Her tone doesn't suggest it was a shame. He doesn't want to ask further.
They walk until they come up to that apartment. His shoulders sag at the sight. All these people... he did that. It was necessary. It was for Ryder. But he still did it.
He didn't have this much of a damn moral issue before. Sure, he'd prefer to spare what he could, but it didn't feel like this.]
You've scouted this place out?
Just... just a room... a floor...
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She's making flippant comments again, and Ryder can feel the silent growl steadily coming back. That's not true. She knows that's not true. The necessity of how Maddy's life is and how it came to be is another bullet in the chamber of a gun Ryder may never shoot. She wasn't a gun person, after all. Higher connections. That's another bullet. Gosh, these people are shitty. She's going to die and come back just so she can bite their faces off... Except that if she does that, then Teo would be left alone and, for some reason, extremely upset for her personally. She wonders if that's really that unbelievable now, considering the whole emotional support zombie thing that has her actually invested in the people that once existed, not just clocking the wandering husks as dangers.]
Nothing ever -- came down. Undead behind doors if -- they were there. Shouldn't... Um, might be different.
[LOOK, SHE JUST REALLY DOESN'T WANT TO BE BLAMED IF THOSE OTHER SURVIVORS CAME BACK AND FUCKED THEIR SHIT UP. That's what has her wavering on going further. If the undead got around somehow, sending Teo out ahead would be the better idea...but if there are survivors, it should be her. They're a unit, in Maddy's eyes -- and in reality, but not usually in the scouting sense. They should both go. But why would they insist on going without Maddy? Sending her first is suspicious as hell. So it's fucking all of them or no one. Which is also a dumb fucking idea. Here they go...!
Ryder creeps down the hall, axe in hand, trying to be as quiet as she can so that she can hear if there's someone other than the two others with her moving about the apartments. It's a spooky sound these days, buildings. Creaks and groans could be anything. They echoed a little more than they used to, for some reason. Furniture moved to block things off instead of cushioning the sound, maybe. Their door is closed. That doesn't mean anything. Cautiously, after making sure Teo and Maddy are in position like how she would see on television, where police would invade a home to find a criminal, she turns the knob and pushes it open.
It looks just how they left it, books on the floor. She wanders in, axe slack at her side again, to pick it up.]
We're back.
[But not welcome home, anymore.]
Must -- not have come back. From hospital.
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