storywalks | she's a work in progress

[If it were visible, he would've lifted a brow real high at that aborted comment. Good god he doesn't need to think about that, nor does he really want to think about another undead getting real close like... that. That'll be saved for jokes alone.

She answers his weird question (an answer that makes him laugh softly), but he thinks he was maybe too vague. He hesitates a moment more. Then pulls off the goggles and hoodie too. This time the gaiter pulls up and he doesn't stop it, just dragging it off past his ponytail.]

I can... hide it... if it's upsetting...

[That is in itself a warning. He lifts back up, face at last fully exposed. What's left of his face anyway, with half his mouth torn away, a permanent Chelsea smile on display and equally permanent scratches left at his throat.]

[If he were talking to almost anyone else, the question wouldn't have been vague. Unfortunately, his roommate is a dumbass, and doesn't even look up until he's obviously prompting her to. Then she's staring again. Her brain is mostly stuttered on god that looks painful. Until a little voice in her head chimes that she really wants to poke his teeth through his cheek hole. No way he was going to let her do that, when he wouldn't even let her touch blood splattered on him. As she mentally swats that impulse away, Ryder's eyes trail to the side, but then she blinks and she's back on him.]

No, um. I want -- you to be comfortable. At least with me. [Okay, brain to mouth connection, you get ONE.] Does it -- hurt?

[The faintest smile pulls up, though of course only on the one side. It manages to reach his eyes all the same.

Comfortable. She's worried about him being comfortable. For a moment he just needs to sit with that.]

It's kind of... complicated...

[He starts to work off the ropes and all the things attached to him by it.]

The dead... ignore pain... nothing matters... more than hunger... so we sort of... shut off... keep going... even when there's... little left... It's not noticeable... the way that... a living person... feels pain... That's why... they don't stop... And why I can... keep going too...

[He drops the rope and everything onto the bed. His hand lifts, hovering by the tear.]

But it does... kind of hurt... when I pay attention...

[She wants to help him, mostly so that she isn't left stupidly watching him while he talks, but there isn't much she can do without getting in his way. Instead, she carefully sits on the bed and brings her legs up to hug around her ankles.]

Oh...

[It's cool, in a way. It appeals to her writer brain to have these gaps filled in where otherwise she could only guess -- it makes it all the more authentic, when she can't actually experience it herself (and still be considered "herself". But it isn't a story with a need for consistent worldbuilding. It's Teo's life. Or unlife? It's his reality -- that works.]

I guess...I'm -- kind of glad. Pain sucks, obviously, but it's -- good. That you can feel it and know you're, um. Feeling it. Can you feel...other things? [And that point about hunger...] I know you want me to save -- food for myself. I don't mind.

[He looks uncertain, at first. But the way she seems to work through it, once again, no fear, no disgust. He allows himself to sit on the edge of the bed, careful not to touch too much.

He smiles faintly and nods. He's not sure anyone else would've seen it that way, but he thinks she's right. He feels pain. Therefore, he's himself. Her question brings the smile to fade though. He looks away.]

I hunt because... it's fresh... it's... alive... It calms down... whatever this is... Clears my head...

It's not... real hunger... just feels... like it... Doesn't go away... Normal food... doesn't help... So I don't... Not fair to take... what living people... need...

[So, he wouldn't be taking from her either.]

Other things... feel touch... feel... mm... tired is weird... not needed... just... helps feel less... crazy. [He laughs weakly.] Dead don't sleep... but I do... Emotions... I feel those...

Oh.

[She feels like she's said that a lot today, with as much as she'd thought it, stumped at every turn in the conversation -- wait, it's a new day. That changes things! All is well! Suddenly not at all defeated about any of this! With a soft sigh, Ryder rests her chin on her knees and thoughtfully looks around the room. The rest of what he says actually lifts her spirits a bit. It was true that he felt emotions and had demonstrated as much -- she didn't need that reminder so much -- and he didn't let her touch him. He didn't sleep the same as someone living would. But it's still reassuring.]

You can take your turn -- to rest, if you want. Did you already search through the rest of it? [Ryder gestures at the door as a means of conveying "everything outside this room".] I -- can see what else we can bring here and use.

[Another faint "oh", but it's kind of a relief in a way. There was never going to be a nice reaction to that admission of truth, so a simple faint acknowledge is just fine with him. It's better than he would have hoped.]

Thanks... Um... I checked for... the dead... not for supplies... This floor... floor above... and below... only a few rooms... on each... Key is... a master key... I think... Didn't check higher... and...

[He hums and peers at the window, like he might be able to see from the bed.]

Wonder if there's... a pool...

[If it's already contaminated, then he can use it. If it's not, he'll leave it to her. Maybe, if he's lucky, there will be a divided hot tub and one or the other of them can wash their things in that.]

Keep your weapon... close by... when you explore... just in case... Until we... search everything...

[A pool... Ryder's eyes widen as she considers it. She was going to go see about the state of the kitchen area to see if she could find gloves and help spark some more memories for him, but this new possibility has her selfishly even more excited. Couldn't drink pool water, so she could use it however she wanted without feeling guilty. Hotels always had those little shampoos everywhere...and sometimes amazing bathrobes and slippers. That's what books and TV have told her, and she's going to be sorely disappointed if it turns out that's not true.

The reminder about her weapon shakes her out of her imagination.]

Yeah. Of course. [She knows she's caused him a lot of trouble by not being careful, so it comes with a spike of guilt, but she'd prove it this time that he didn't have to worry so much about her. No talking to herself knowing he's got her back today!!!

Okay. Back on her feet. Ryder goes to retrieve her hatchet and double check herself for obvious loose bits that would leave her in danger of getting caught on something, tripping, or being grabbed if something went wrong. Satisfied, she looks over to Teo and gives a half-smile and a little salute.] I'll see you soon.

[The last thing she grabs to get ready is a marker.

It's easy goings, for obvious reasons. Still, she doesn't remark on witches' reputations ruining their check-in rate. There are plenty of signs that people had been there when disaster hit, and even a floor she suspects housed survivors for a time. Not much in the way of supplies there, but she finds a laundry service cart that doesn't make too much noise to use for transporting things. Stairs with it were a little awkward, but after ensuring they were clear, she doesn't find herself wanting to complain too much. Everywhere else, it was ideal.

Ryder hits up the other spots, too, and though she doesn't leave the building, she sneakily checks the outdoors through each window she comes across -- and tests how sturdy the lower level ones are, just in case. It's boring when she doesn't let herself weave stories, but necessary. The regret there isn't nearly as great as when she curiously opens what was once the freezer. Nice addition of vomit to the horrid smell of rotting, spoiled meats shut away. It takes a good few minutes to recover from that one -- even the undead weren't that bad! Well, maybe if she found a stack of undead kept in a sealed closet, that might change her mind. She does find a few zombie strays about, thankfully not in a closet, that she easily dispatches, and she can't even be too upset about the more disgusting parts of her trip or the overall lack of still-edible items, with what she stocks up on.

Ryder would pause outside their room to listen for Teo being awake or not, but she figures he'd rather her let it be known that she was back and safe than have him wake up to a still-empty room. She's already been gone for quite a while. Even though she's being quieter about it, she decides to ride her laundry cart in like a weird scooter as proof of just how okay she is.

Behold her basket of shit that includes: robes and slippers (that were indeed pretty soft), extra bedding, clothes deemed clean enough, a knife block and its accompanying knives, a whetstone (rad), rubber cleaning gloves (not as good as nitrile in terms of dexterity, but she'd take what she could get), a few cans of food, an apron (for fun), stray sodas and bottles of water that had escaped theft before (not many), a bottle of wine and an opener (can undead get drunk? science demands she pursue this inquiry), coffee beans (brain said cronch, which she can't resist for much longer), a stock of batteries, a flashlight, a basic toolkit, four packs of matches, shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste (no toothbrush that she'd been able to find), soap, bubble bath mix, a comb, scissors, comment cards, writing utensils, a fire extinguisher (why not?), a well-loved bunny toy with long legs (depressing; she's named him), iodine, a basic first aid kit, garbage bags, and so much toilet paper (so, so much).

In a loud whisper not too unlike his regular speaking voice,] Ryder of the apocalypse and Chancellor Bounce, here and ready to report, sir!

Edited 2021-11-25 17:38 (UTC)

[The way her eyes widen, seeing it makes his smile widen to match, teeth showing on the other side so he looks just slightly less lopsided. Her delight is a gift. That he can help bring it out is even more of one.

He'd hate to know she feels guilty. That's not something he meant for. He only knows that he hasn't checked this place as thoroughly and wouldn't want that to come back around and bite her... literally.

She salutes and his smile persists. He salutes back.]

See you soon.

[He doesn't sleep on the bed this time, as much as that's been a luxury this past while. He's still pretty filthy from the slaughter at the apartment. He settles on the floor, sitting up and leaning in a corner where the wall meets a dresser.

His dreams are less of an adventure, but he's okay with that. He hasn't enjoyed many of the "adventures" he's embarked on. He feels himself floating somewhere in between asleep and awake. Although he appreciates the rest, her arrival is much more welcome.

When the door opens and she scoots in, his grin stretches wide. He gets to his feet.]

Chancellor Bounce... you've come a long way... from the rabbit hole... pleased to make your... acquaintance. [He bows. Then he looks into the cart.]

You've found... a bounty... How does it feel... being the wealthiest woman... in the apocalypse?

[What a ridiculous, sad man. He could have slept on the bed...but she imagines there's no point in telling him that, when he thought of himself as infectious as he did. Instead, she gives a please smile and has Chancellor Bounce bow along with her. Leaning into the theatrics, she speaks with ease.]

He says the pleasure is all his, good sir Teo. [As for how she feels...] I say, what is wealth when there's nary a soul to share it with? So I turn it onto you -- how does it feel? For we will be wealthy together.

[Chancellor Bounce gets propped against the headboard and Ryder turns to look over the basket again, hands triumphantly on her hips.]

I marked the rooms I emptied or were -- no good. But -- all this isn't even the best part. Pool across building, and -- one outdoors. That one's pretty bad. Bookshelf in sitting area sucks. Kitchen -- useable, as long as you don't open freezer, fridge, or pantry. Not much for food that's still -- good.

[The little bow makes him laugh, quiet and breathy. Everyone was so serious these days, and he understands why, he's fallen into it too. But he likes this much better. Sir Teo he will be. He presses a hand to his still heart to go along with the rabbit's well wishes.]

Feels... fantastic...

[Despite her own self-doubt, he already know she was capable. One had to be, to make it this far. But it's exciting to share in the feeling of victory. It feels more like that instead of just another gruelling duty to be performed.]

That's... very good news... Shame about... the bookshelf... but we can... work on that... I'll get searching... for food supplies... in the city... but first... Dibs... on the outdoor pool...

[It's not that he prefers the gross one, but she's still living and he can't get infected more. He'd have washed off in a fountain or river otherwise anyway.]

[Ah -- ]

But it's -- bad.

[Ryder should have expected it, and she realizes that before the words finish coming out of her mouth, doesn't change the fact that at first -- for that littlest bit -- it catches her off guard. Even if he was dead, even if he didn't want to take from the living like her... Biting her lip, she frowns at the ground.]

What if -- we filled something else with the cleaner water, or -- tried to strain it or something first? Even if you can't get sick, I don't -- like the idea. Dead bugs and -- plants. Getting inside you.

[It sounds awful, miserable...dehumanizing. Teo was worth more than that.]

[He blinks as his enthusiasm is met with a metaphorical "stop, do not pass go" sign.

She makes some good suggestions. And, she leaves him with some very bad images. His face scrunches, and his hands fold over his stomach as though he's nauseous. Bugs inside. Yeah, that's a bad thought.]

...Right... that's... smarter probably.

[He looks down, embarrassed. Then sighs.]

Guess I should... go hunt first... anyway... What about you...? Plans for tonight..?

[She opens her mouth, ready to fire words she hadn't fully thought of yet right back at him, but closes it again with a dumbfounded look when he doesn't fight her on it. Being fair, bugs inside is a very bad mental image. It takes her a bit to change gears, and when she does she looks only slightly less stunned? She points out the door.]

Um. [Right, right! She did have something to say about this, too.] I saw -- bunnies. Outside. ...Chancellor Bounce says you have a permit to hunt as you see fit. And, um, signs of mice, I think. On -- few different floors.

[Plans, though... Ryder looks from the fruits of her labor to the door, to Teo, then back down again.]

After getting -- something ready for you, I'll -- bathe, probably. Too. Maybe try -- getting things clean so we can use them. Cooking and stuff. [Or so they could use them for her, seeing as Teo didn't have particularly strict food prep needs.

...Oh!] Drinks! Celebrate moving in, I guess? Mostly -- I wanted to see if -- you could.

[It's strange. He steps around his own eating habits, he'd just expect she'd do the same, maybe more so. But she's kept an eye out and is offering suggestions too. She's even roping it into the game, to soften the edges of it.]

Chancellor Bounce... is very generous... Thank you... Never tried mice...

[Those tend to be small. It doesn't satisfy the pressing urge to bite. But it's worth a try.

He nods along, smiling faintly, then a little warmer at her suggestion.]

Haven't tried... that either... Baths and drinks... We really are... in luxury...

[He's allowed to have spooky needs. He's still her spooky godfather, on top of that whole best friend thing he'd fallen into. Besides, she'd already tried offering regular food more than once, and with it apparently doing nothing for him, there was no point in shying away from their odd reality.

Ryder tries not to show just how pleased she is that he's down with her plan, too embarrassed by her own enthusiasm, but that less theatrical, happy smile that had appeared at the promise of books is back.]

Well -- we deserve it. Other people are exhausting. I'll -- meet you back here...?

Edited 2021-11-26 15:08 (UTC)

[He laughs.]

I'd been missing... living people... before you...

[But it is exhausting having to hide and pretend. It was exhausting to know even that would never be enough. Now there's Ryder. Things are different. He nods.]

I'll be back soon...

[He throws on the filthy hoodie, just to cover up for what he knows will be a mess, and he grabs his quiver and bow. Today Chancellor Bounce sacrifices his people to the zombies. Generous, but not kind.

He heads, stepping onto the green lawn. The light's a bit too bright without the goggles, but he can see well enough that when his prey finally shows up, he makes his shot.

He's on the creature before it can cool, composure lost as his teeth sink in. He leaves very little behind but a mess of blood on his hands and face. He always sits there a moment, after feeding. It takes a minute or two for his mind to come back to him, for him to process his own horror and grief after that.

It's a shame he's contagious, she could use the bones for stew otherwise. It's that thought that brings him properly back. He turns back for the hotel, making his way inside and to find her once again.]

[Before her. She calls herself stupid for feeling giddy over something so simple, especially since it could just as easily not have been her that he decided to tag along with. Just because she wasn't good with people didn't mean Teo was the same. He could have made friends elsewhere, and even if he had to pretend or keep his distance, what made Ryder special in her opinion was...circumstance.

Still. She was special. It's nice.

And that's probably why she spends her time fastidiously taking stock of what she has available, doing some experimentation, and doing some heavy lifting. She understands why the ground floor isn't possible on multiple levels, but it sure would make it less exhausting for her to transport things or retrieve supplies. Definitely going to need that bath, after so much sweating -- and it's good she had him pick up antibiotics, too, since it wouldn't be hard for her to believe this place has plenty of ways to introduce infection, especially with her scraped up palms. How long did tetanus shots last again? When was the last time she upped her immunizations? Hm.

Ryder's at the top of the stairs, on the floor and trying to catch her breath, when he comes upon her. Weak...wave... Next to her is a garbage can she'd gone back to the kitchen to retrieve, inside of which is a swollen garbage bag that sloshes when moved. Because of her focus on making her lungs and arms work again, she hasn't looked at him enough to be offput by any blood -- just a quick lift of her head to confirm it was Teo, then back to dying.]

Need -- adjustments. Maybe -- sheets. Backpack. Ramp? Hahhh. Arms -- noodles. [Okay. With what's apparently an enormous amount of effort, Ryder starts to get back on her feet.] Should -- be enough, now. Ow.

[Inside the thankfully sturdy bag is pool water, which is dragged over to the tub in their room -- already filled partway. Rather than risk opening the bag and sending water everywhere, she sits on the ledge with it on her lap and quickly pokes a hole in the side over the tub. She's tired and sore, but quite pleased with herself for the solution, even if it means that the bags used have less function in the future.]

There! Phew. What d'you think?

[The pool water is still a little grimy on account of no filtration, and it doesn't smell the best even ignoring the chemical smell, but it's infinitely better than the near-swamp the outdoor pool was becoming. Besides, they had lots of soapy things that smelled nice.]

[You would think that being a blood-smeared and creepy undead with sentience would be enough to make you the most unusual sight in any room. You would think, and yet, that's almost certainly not the case here.

He sees Ryder desperately struggling to drag a garbage can up the stairs. He can hear the sloshing of water and is in no small amount of awe that she figured out a way to transport it at all. He blinks up at her. She's barely even glanced at him.]

You... carried water... all this way...? Alone...?

[Obviously, she did, but he's still in disbelief. He hurries up the stairs, catching up with her as she fills up the tub.]

You worked... really hard at this... I'm... I... don't know... what to say...

[Even though she suggested they try something else, this is so much more effort than he ever expected. Or would have asked for.]

You're... kind of amazing... Ryder...

['I'm very strong,' she'd pathetically wheezed after the first trip. But stubbornness would not let her lose against bathtime. She's grateful that at least he sees her being triumphant and not just winded. Feeling properly appreciated for her hard work and too tired to be self-conscious over how she reacts, Ryder beams over and gives a thumbs up.]

Well -- ! You know. [what is it he knows, ryder

...What he knows is,] I said -- do my best. It's my plan. [Her only longterm goal. What he should also know is that she feels stupid indebted to and endeared by him. Of course she was going to put a ton of effort into doing something nice for him!] But I'm gonna -- hurt tomorrow. So don't expect too much help from -- me.

[Might just make designs and notes for how to improve her water-carrying method and stare at the ceiling craving the ability to astral project.

...Awh, fuck. Now she's gotta get on her feet again. Come on, girl... Do it for the well-earned scrub. At least she avoids looking like a newborn deer as she walks over to fill up her arms.]

There's so much, so -- don't worry about using tons of soap and towels. [Sorry Teo, you kind of need it...aaand taking a little hand axe with her to take a bath. #JustApocalypseThings. Or horror movie things! Well, sometimes that's the same.] Laundry -- we'll figure out later.

[BATH! BATH! BATH!]

[He wants to tell her that she should've asked his help, waited until he could do more. But... she worked so hard on this, and he doesn't want to return the gift by scolding her. It's only born of worry for her anyway and it doesn't actually take away from how overwhelmingly grateful he feels.

His eyes close. His smile is soft.]

I'll make sure... to bring you... whatever you need... Butler for... a day...

[He doesn't deserve her. He could never deserve something like this. He wishes he could reach out.]

Thank you... for all this...

[Once she's taken off for her own bathtime, then comes the reality of stripping down and actually looking at himself. It's been... a fair bit. She was fair to think he needs the soap, even if last time was much, much worse.

Piece by piece he's undone. He slips into the cool water, folding a little to fit in the tub. It's a comfort. It really is. Even if, through scrubbing himself down, he does cry in the bathtub. He's proud (not really) to say that it's only once and only for a short time this time, mostly out of wanting to keep the water from turning black. As it is, the color is already not too great to look at.

He scrubs and scrubs until he just about feels clean. Then he pulls the drain, wonders where the water goes now, and dries himself off, being thorough yet again with towels before finally slipping back into his most basic of clothes. Jeans, shirt, tee. The sweater will get a wash tomorrow and then he'll return to its comfort.

It's then that he finally settles on the bed, settled to one side and on top of the covers, but there nonetheless. His black-grey hair is loose and long around him, draping on the pillow and giving him something to stare at. He waits, waffling between checking on her and not invading her privacy. As soon as she arrives back he's got warm smile ready.]

[Butler for a day doesn't feel like it'll be all that different from normal, but the aches in her arms and back tell her not to sass him, even if she knows he wouldn't revoke the offer -- only in jest, maybe. She'll take it and for once not feel too guilty.

Last night was such a failure. This one was shaping up to be pretty damn good, even if her initial test of the water after removing her clothes has her hissing out a series of swears and jumping back. It echoes weirdly despite her attempt to be quiet, the wide, empty area taking up the sound with an eagerness that almost startles her more than the chill of the water. Ryder stills, listening hard for anything that wasn't abandoned building or nature that was happy to ignore her. Wouldn't that be an embarrassing way to die... Imagining Teo coming down to find her chewed up, naked body makes her grimace. She acknowledges that half the reasons for it are stupid.

She shakes her head and eases herself in, this time biting down on her lip to stop further complaints. Phew. Okay. Now comes the actually good part of scrubbing every inch of herself without a care for rationing, massaging and scratching shampoo into her hair, and after bracing herself, dunking completely underwater and shaking her head back and forth to pretend she's some mythical sea creature, equally dangerous as she was beautiful. When she surfaces, she imagines she looks more like the swamp goblin she often feels closer to. Well, at least she smells fucking great. Like vanilla. Ryder's mostly adjusted to the temperature, but all the same, she doesn't want to linger too long and have Teo worry enough that he unexpectedly checks on her. As much as she trusts him, that might still make her want to die. Less inclined to put her dirty clothes back on immediately -- comparatively fresh as they were, coming from the apartment -- Ryder makes her way back tightly wrapped up in the bathrobe and slippered instead of dressed. It doesn't feel quite as soft as it was when she was fully dry, but it's still definitely something to be appreciated.

She's still happily running a hand up and down the opposite sleeve as she comes upon the door to their room, and only stops to reach for the knob, pause, and give a soft knock before creeping in. Teo's smile is returned with a lopsided one of her own before she unceremoniously drops her bundle of clothes, towel, and products onto the floor.]

Hey.

[And now...! To flop facedown onto the other half of the bed, letting herself enjoy it for a bit before moving on to that whole wine plan. Mmm, pillow.]

Bummer I can't -- shave this grown out bit. [Ryder pushes herself up to a kneel and runs her fingers through what was once a shorn patch of her hair. She'd thought about trying it with the disposable razor back at the apartment, but it seemed hard to do on her own. More importantly...] Do you need -- comb yet?

[He props himself up when she arrives.]

Hey...

[And then he promptly drops back down, laughing a little as she flops face down onto the bed. He breathes in deep.

Vanilla. Like a cake, or sugar cookie. He almost says something, but he thinks, coming from him, "you smell nice" wouldn't be the most welcome. Or maybe she'd shrug it off, but he'd still feel embarrassed having to explain what he really means.

He looks her over, her grown-out hair, when she sits up a bit. She looks fine to him, but this is what he saw when he first met her. The part-grown-out look is her. But he understands a change to feel more comfortable.]

Haven't combed... not yet... [He supposes he should before it dries.]

Would offer to... help with... shaving it out... but I don't... want to nick you... [or be around if she gets nicked.] Could snip... with scissors... no one cares... anymore... about evenness...

[Hm... Yeah, given that she still doesn't know how he'd react if she bled around him -- or, more accurately, she could very well guess how he might react -- having him help may not be the best idea... It's a little disappointing. The counteroffer makes her scoff out a small laugh.]

I would care... But I -- guess I don't see myself -- so often.

[There was a mirror at the apartment, though, and another here. Would it really bother her? Slipping her fingers through the overgrowth again, she makes a soft, considering noise. Well, they had time to think. For now, she should retrieve that comb she'd found, lament the fact that she hadn't gotten two right away, that was kind of boneheaded of her, and trot back over to the bed. ]

If you let me -- sit behind you, I-I'll do it. Your hair's -- so long. Longer than mine ever was.

[He laughs softly too. Fair enough.]

Whatever's... best for you...

[He sits up properly as she walks off, curious as to her plan. He falters, some surprise on his face, and then the smile comes back, a little sheepish.]

It is... I think it... was at my shoulders... once... longer now...

[The remainder of his mouth presses. Then, he pulls his legs up to sit, kneeled, at the edge of the bed. He takes a shaky, steadying breath.]

Okay... We could... try that...

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