storywalks | she's a work in progress

[aaaaaaaaaa]

Yes, chef!

[Her mom watched those shows. It really is fun to say.

Ryder's plan, honestly, had been to hop on a counter and watch him settle in to try and remember the man he once was. Maybe prompt him with a question here or there. Now she's barely feeling the ache she'd brought onto herself, jogging lightly across the kitchen so she can get to searching. Tomato paste, tomato paste!! That was the most important part of his instructions, no matter what he believed to the contrary. She'd already searched for gloves earlier, thinking about teeth, but she'll redouble her efforts for this.]

What even is tomato paste... Paste made out of tomato, obviously. Hell, I took all the knives away...

[They were up in their room so she can't use those to open up any cans. She'll figure something out, if she can't find a can opener in any of these drawers. Oh shit, there's some more knives, actually? And some other shit. Woah, a pizza cutter. Imagine trying to fight off a zombie with that. Yeesh. Very unpleasant.]

Here's -- um, the spoon with the --

[She makes an oval with her hands, which does absolutely nothing to illuminate what she means, but luckily she can also just set it down on the counter near him a minute later. Disappearing into the pantry, now, and right back to talking to herself.]

Probably wouldn't let me use the axe. That'd be gross anyway. It's been in heads, it doesn't need to do the same thing to a can. Oh, you're red -- fucking what? Why is baby corn in a red can? That doesn't make any fucking -- hey, Teo! Is baby corn a bad idea? Like the little guys. I don't know how cooking works.

[...Eventually he'll get approximately what was on his list, as well as whatever else they deemed potentially useful.]

[Oh, now he's grinning terribly wide. It's enough to make his torn face look normal.

He listens to her babbling, torn between wanting to respond and wanting to revel in it. The way it just flows out still brings such joy. He looks too, though with less fervency. His hunger is not going to be sated with tomato paste. He can take his time to balance her frantic searching.

Eventually though, he's too caught up with her to do anything but watch and smile. And laugh.]

Baby corn... is fine... should be safe... Best for... Asian dishes... stirfry... peanut sauce... making... crispy...

[With everything gathered, and a bowl to mix things, it shouldn't take long. No real cooking involved, given the lack of fire or appliances, but still. He's careful with the spoon, making sure not to let his hands go near the actual food. It really, really looks lackluster, and he'd be sorry to give this to anyone, if it weren't the apocalypse. He's still a little sorry in truth.

The bowl is presented to her.]

It would be... better if... we could actually cook... but...

[Simple as it is and as much as it isn't technically being cooked, Ryder watches him work with such rapt attention and wonder it's as if he's doing magic. For someone that largely lived out of a microwave, it basically is. There are people out there that really use those spices! Wow! She knows one! Even more wow!!]

Are you kidding? This -- is amazing! [He made it special for her! In the dang apocalypse! She can't get over the fact that real fucking spices happened today!

She has her own spoon that's smaller and that she thinks is supposed to be for soup if you were some kind of asshole that believed in the law of silverware. Ryder's dipped it into the concoction before she reaches to support the bowl, then quickly shoves it into her mouth to shush to her hungry stomach. Angels sing. She hears applause. She's pretty sure she made some kind of embarrassing noise in her delight.]

Oh my god, Teo. You can fucking cook! [Damn!!!] Hold on -- I know it doesn't -- make you not hungry, but can you taste things? You need to -- try it!

[It's the best thing since forever! Also despite her insistence, she's too busy making her way through more spoonfuls to force one onto him immediately.]

[She lights up like a kid at Christmas. He guesses, in a way, it is kind of the same. What more does anyone want these days but the old luxuries of good food fulfilled? She eats ravenously, but it's still not like the way he would. She is all human, silliness, noises, smiles, and enthusiasm. He half anticipates she'll start bouncing about. It's all deeply charming.

Her standards are low. He knows any praise isn't a true indication of ability. Apocalypse, minus 15 points. Regular diet of noodle cups, minus 10 points. Building him up because they're friends, minus 5 points. Still, he smiles sheepishly, pleased too.

Until the question comes and he falters.]

I... [He tries to recover.] It's okay... You need it... I wouldn't appreciate... near as much...

[Wow, Teo, you dare attack her mood with intent to kill? She leaves her spoon in her mouth, pouting around it and instead poking him. Then she realizes she wants to talk but doesn't want to stop pestering or holding the bowl, frowns to herself, then speaks anyway. Despite my not typing it out how it sounds, it's ridiculous.]

One spoonful less won't -- kill me.

[He dares!!! Sort of.

He's already squirming away from her poking with a weird noise of his own, one that becomes his standard laughing-cough as she speaks through a spoon and a mouthful. He shakes his head.]

Sharing... that spoonful... might... I'll try... what's left... but... it won't be... the same...

[She counters with what, if he is very good at this game, can be interpreted as, "Obviously I'm not sharing this spoonful. It's in my mouth. What, want me to stick my tongue out so you can grab it? I'd lose my spoon and that's really fucking gross." Frankly it's a miracle that she doesn't choke on anything. Once ensured that he's given up a sufficient amount, Ryder gives him a smug grin, then turns to lean back against the counter to continue her meal.]

For real, though. It's -- not like it's wasting it for you to eat. We can't keep it very long -- and I don't want -- my stomach bursting because it's suddenly too -- much. It -- might help! Taste and smell are linked strongly -- to memory, right? You obviously know the recipe still, so -- you know.

[He'll give that it's slightly above zombie-level communication. Slightly. But, he's also rather busy literally choking on laughter as she goes through that, somehow. Definitely a miracle she's not choking. There will be no CPR performed here.

He smiles through her explanation, but it's sad. When she's done, he sighs.]

My sense of taste... is dulled... Or altered... I'm not sure... It's the other reason... I don't bother... Guess the... sickness... decided I... didn't need that... so much...

[To be fair, having lest taste probably helps the live-eating process.]

[She hums around her spoon, then clinks it against her teeth a few times like maybe it's a drumroll leading up to her conclusion.]

So -- you're saying we should dump more spices in it. Quadruple.

[He snorts and coughs another laugh.]

Too much... and it will have... the texture of dust... but I'll try..

[With a look of absolute triumph, Ryder scoops up another large portion of beans into her mouth. The real win is having him see this as sort of fun and not focusing on the dead part so much. He liked cooking in life! Eating and enjoying was a major part of that, and she wants him to have the best chance at good memories coming back. Selfishly, she hopes even more that it's good memories being made. She switches to focusing on eating for a while, and if she tried she could probably finish the whole thing, but it really would make her sick, after getting used to smaller, blander portions for so long. It's much more worth it to offer it out to Teo.]

Alright, chef, kick -- it into overdrive. [Oh, wait.] Want -- me to get you a new spoon?

[She kinda, uh, just stuck hers in there. Sharing food is a new experience!!!]

[Jokes on her, he's already enjoying the fact that she's enjoying this. Her obvious pleasure, the knowledge that he's done something good, that alone makes him smile. He's not thinking that she could eat too much-- that's become impossible to his mind-- so he's glad she gets a good dent in before she decides it's time for their experiment.]

Probably should... if you ever want to... use that again...

[In the meantime, he's going to gather up those spices. He squints at them, pondering the best combination for flavor without creating horrible texture. He can't simmer it together either, which would help the grittiness, though part of him blunty reminds that he's eaten much, much worse. About two three more shakes of Chili and... a touch of oil to blend it in. He mixes it using her spoon, not particularly worried about catching anything from her, then he trades the spoon off for whatever new one she can find. Or his fingers, if he's got to.]

[She rolls her eyes again at yet another (valid, correct) reminder that oh no, he's infectious, but she takes her spoon back without any more fuss than that when he's done, making a short noise as she sticks it in her mouth. It almost immediately comes back out for her to stare at. Buhh??? How is More become Less tolerable? There can be too much flavor in flavor town? But that sounds fake!! Well, whatever, she never actually searched because she was fascinated by watching him do more "cooking", oops.]

[Well, watch him roll his eyes at her eyeroll! Safety first, Ryder!!!

Though, on that note, he really should just use his fingers. Well, here goes. He dips in his pointer and middle finger to try and scoop up a bit of the lentil-joe. It's weird to eat without the usual blinding frenzy that takes over. He stares at it a moment, shrugs his shoulders helplessly, then licks it off his fingers.

He pauses a moment, head tilting to compensate for a lack of cheek on one side. He brings his hand up to cover when he's got to, brows furrowed as he tries to determine what it is he tastes and feels. After he swallows, the only thing he can do is snort and laugh. He shakes his head.]

That... sure was... some uncooked lentils and... tomato paste with spice... I'm sorry, Ryder... That was... a sad, sad meal... I'm ashamed... I fed you that...

[And yet, he laughs helplessly in quiet wheezes.]

But you were right... about the spice... helped...

Huh?

[What? Sorry? What did he say? Just suddenly his mouth wasn't doing what it had been doing when she zoned the fuck out, and part of her absolutely hates that. The other part is busy hating herself, because what the fuck is she doing watching him lick his fingers like that? God. Maybe she'll do another sweep of the hotel and see if anyone packed a vibrator, if she doesn't calm the hell down on this weirdass train of thought. She's found the batteries. Is it being in a hotel? Is that it? Having another body so close at night? Maybe. It doesn't matter. Jesus, just stop thinking and remember what the words that came out of his mouth were.]

Dude, seriously. [A weak punch to his sternum.] You are underestimating yourself. Maybe -- it's because apocalypse food, sure, but it -- was more than I ever thought -- I'd have again. [She liked her weird lentil and tomato paste mash!!!] Anyway -- anything?

[Apparently, while he was busy with food, Ryder had been elsewhere. He smiles crookedly for that. He lets out another wheeze at her punch, one that may or may not be another laugh.]

I guess it's... decent for... apocalypse food...

[Better than what he's doing. But, he really is glad to have given her something more than she's been having... however long it's been.

He shakes his head.]

No specific memory... Sorry... Don't think it was... significant... maybe just... something made before...

[Ryder wants back on food planet. She's mortified. There is something seriously wrong with her!! Being enamored by The Shape of Water was one thing, but this is next level freak...and he didn't even remember anything.]

Mmm. So not -- first time cooking for a partner -- kind of dish. [Really, Ry?

Well, at least they sort of can guess that he knew a vegetarian. Hopefully he hadn't been one himself. That would be a pretty cruel twist, due to his new diet.] I mean, it was worth a -- shot even if it hadn't meant I got a kickass breakfast.

[RIP Ryder.

He laughs, then shakes his head.]

No... nothing like that... [He pauses moment, eyes closing. First times...] Always made... breakfast... for partners... anyone... maybe family... I remember... the sounds the lights... would make... That doesn't... make much sense.

[He opens his eyes and smiles sheepishly.]

You did?

[Even that little bit has her perking up, looking hopeful again. Much more preferable than horny, especially in this case, though she'd claim both are alien feelings to her. That didn't matter -- this news did! This was something, maybe! Maybe he'd remembered that before now, though... Well. Not going to dwell on that too much. She wants to hold onto that more precocious sense of optimism he'd given her, so: sounds of lights...]

You mean like light switches? Or the buzz some -- do?

I think so...

[He mutters that for the first question, frowning as he tries to pull at more. The second gets a nod.]

The buzz... Restaurants... and... an apartment... There's an apartment... with bad lights... that buzz... it's over the sink... but there's also... a house... and those lights... they're quiet... and warm...

[She hums, a little disappointed along with her measured excitement. That was something they'd need electricity for, if she wanted to recreate it. No good, then.]

You're used to spoiling -- people, huh... Different places, but you feel like -- you did all that everywhere. You must've been popular.

[They really wouldn't have gotten along back then, huh... It's too bad. It makes her feel like she's lying to him now, as someone he says he doesn't want to lose. She's only there because of something awful that half the time she feels the world deserved.

But she is there, and whether or not he would have thought so before, it's impossible to doubt that he enjoys having her around now, no matter what her brain tries. Someone that didn't enjoy her company wouldn't be going out of their way with all of this -- way too much effort to go to waste.]

Sorry it didn't get you more than that. The -- memory stuff. I guess, um. Dumb for me -- to think. It could be easy.

[She wears a strange expression then. It's hard to read. She seems both happy and sad at once. He hopes it's not a sadness that runs too deep.

He laughs softly. He gives a shake of his head.]

Popular... I'm not... so sure...

[He doesn't feel like someone who'd have won of crowds. But then, he doesn't really know for sure, does he? He just has a letter.]

Not dumb... helpful... kind... I'm grateful... Besides... I don't think... I could handle... all memories... at once...

Hnn. No way you weren't.

[He's too nice, talented, and probably not just attractive because he dared to give her attention and be something out of the ordinary -- dead-ish.

Teo's assurance makes her smile awkwardly, lopsided and ready to disappear out of embarrassment.]

No. That'd -- be way too much.

[But still!!! "I cooked for a lot of people in a lot of different places" was more confirmation than something new. The biggest puzzle piece they got was "breakfast" specifically, and that could just be because he had...made her breakfast, albeit an unconventional one. If he made her dinner, he might have remembered "dinner".

...Had waking up next to her sparked anything? If he was there to make breakfast for people --

Well, you know. Popular.]

Um, do you need -- to go eat something else, though?

[It didn't sate his hunger, right? Even what worked...didn't. She's not sure she would have ever wanted to have woken up to personhood again the way he did, when life would be that cruel.]

[He huffs, turns, and bumps her arm with the side of his, in lieu of using his knuckles. You have no proof, Ryder of the Apocalypse.

It would help a lot, to remember. He wants to remember. But he also can't forget how he felt waking up, how overwhelming it had been, even when it came slow.

He smiles faintly over the novelty of her asking him that outright, even if the topic isn't his favorite. He shakes his head.]

I don't hunt... every day... My head's... still clear enough... I'll give it... a while more... No more than... a week though...

[Especially not that long when he's spending so much time with a living person.]

Lot's of time... for messing around... instead.

[Head's still clear enough... That's a worrying thought even in a mundane sense, and in Teo's case it's a lot more dangerous and sad. So about a week was his limit, huh? She'd have to be sure to keep track and be ready to help, just in case. Distracted as she is, and as useless as her brain has decided to be today, Ryder startles a little when he rasps about messing around. Then she realizes that's fucking dumb, and her shy smile is back.]

Yeah? [A day to do their best to forget about the horrors of the world around them and have fun, huh?] I was -- thinking boring stuff. Laundry... But that sounds -- like a lot of work. You made moving worth it, but -- still sore, heh. What kind of fun should we have?

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