[Frustration from the dead is a confusing concept. Yet, that's all he can see this as. He looks at her, confused, then slowly raises his hand up. It comes to rest on her bowed hed. He strokes her hair back.
And his other hand goes to try and pull hers from her teeth. He speaks gently.]
You shouldn't... We don't heal... you'll make your... hand worse...
[He knows such scolding is pointless. He still feels the need to say it.]
[Her gnawing stops as he pets her again, and though she grumbles about it, she doesn't fight against him taking her hand away from him. Still not pleased, perhaps not even capable of that, but not getting fussy or defensive over her "meal". Instead, something leans into Teo's palm.]
Huuhhp.
[Nobody's really clean anymore, but at least something is no longer covered in someone's blood, rabbit gore, piss, or vomit.]
[He makes a note to himself to keep an eye out for future chewing attempts. Maybe he can find her a shirt or something to gnaw on instead. Obviously, she'd prefer another meal but that would never last in the frenzy of hunger.
That train of thought picks up and takes off as she leans into his hand. His chest feels tight. He wavers, wondering if it would be selfish or violating to stroke her cheek, or if it would help her, or bother. He does it just once, with his thumb, then shifts forward in the water to draw her to himself.]
Your name... is Ryder... You miss... your mom... normal things... You let me stay... while you turned... Do you... remember?
[Her stare, for the little bit she looks at him instead of being directed elsewhere as a consequence of his hold, is blank. He probably wouldn't like how that doesn't change the more he speaks...though that doesn't mean the sluggish lump in her skull isn't trying its best to work through his words.
Her name is Ryder...? She knows the words individually, somewhere in there -- a lingering familiarity that she can't get too close to, but can see behind some fence. Trying to string them together made the fence get some barbed wire and electrify. Something is more than she is, and even has a name... What...was it?
So close to her death, she doesn't yet have the dark, inky black tears Teo cries now, and her face is still dripping. It'll be hard to notice the cloudy tears that well up in Ryder's eyes. Something doesn't understand. She can't. Ryder struggles with it, too.]
Mmuh-uhhh...
[Both of their hands fumble on their way to trying to grasp at his front, and Ryder's are shaking.]
[Blank and empty. Maybe he knows better because he's seen the emptiness in his own eyes, the blankness on his face, even when feeling too much for his frame. Or maybe he's fooling himself, willing humanity on a creature that just isn't going to have it.
If he is, he's going to find out eventually, won't he? And if he's wrong about this, then he'll never be sure of anyone ever again, if there even is another person like this. He'll have to assume he projected on this girl because she was dying and he didn't want her to. He didn't want her to...
She grips the front of his sweater. Her hands shake. He brings his forehead to hers and holds the back of her head.]
I'm sorry... you were supposed to... see her...Now you're... stuck with me... I'm sorry...
[Sorry she died. Sorry she suffered. Sorry that it's going to be hard for a long time and probably harder before it's easier.]
I was... like you... but alone... So now I'm... going to try... and protect you...
[Oh. His face is much closer now. He's all she can see. Part of her says it's overwhelming, another part is glad that her hearing is the more helpful of the senses, which him blocking her view of any potential prey. Yet another part is confused because for some reason, she finds herself...calmed? She was already calm, wasn't she? So patient. So numb. There was no need to feel -- comforted, maybe -- and yet she is. Something does another odd thing then and blinks, though it's sluggish. Those beginnings of tears fall down with the rest of the droplets still fighting to cling to her face. Huh.]
Oo..ouuh.
[She can see the way his lips move so well from here. Something tenses and relaxes her jaw to try and mimic the movement. She ends up turning half of her mouth into a grin, almost like his promise amuses her, even though whatever bits her mind was able to brush against at all have since slipped away.]
[Her tears fall, not yet blackened by time and the sickness run through them. His heart aches. He moves his hands only to wipe those tears from her cheeks and he wonders if the pain is human or the same mindless sort the dead had sometimes. Her mouth moves strangely and at first he doesn't understand. Then, a weak, broken laugh slips from him.]
Are you... smiling...?
[It seems she might be. Only, she hasn't got the other side matching. He smiles too, lopsided as her.]
It's supposed... be both... I just... can't do it...
[After another pause, something wrestles her mouth into changing shape again. It's not pretty or smooth, becoming a snarl without the growl before it's pulled into the neighborhood of a smile again. Even before, she thinks...this must not have come easily to her, whatever it was. No matter.
Satisfied that she'd done a good job copying him, she lets her attention drift off again, a grim recreation of a bored student in their third lecture class of the day. Unlike that bored student, she doesn't ask for permission to get out of her seat, unsteadily raising back up to a stand. It's hard to keep her steps headed in a helpful direction, legs a little unresponsive from the cold of the water even if they haven't sunk into rigor. She wouldn't actually know what a helpful direction was, would she?
Realizing this (sort of), her head tips to let her get Teo fully in her sights. He might know.]
He laughs, and aside from the raspy sound of it and the coughing that follows, it's a sound of pure joy. She did it. She smiled. She listened to him and adjusted and even if he can't be sure how much of her is there or is going to come back, she is here.
He could cry. He could cry from happiness if it wouldn't make a whole mess of himself.
She rises up, done with all this, and he decides that's fair. He gets up too, going to grab the bow and arrows and everything else he left out of the water. With it slung back on, he starts back for the city.
Back and forth... I know... but I want to... get you something... to wrap that hand... conceal you... a little...
[That way? Okay. She gurgles her agreement, not finding any objection to it. Does she even remember that's the way they came from? Questionable. What matters is that it's where they're going now, and he's ready to lead the way again. Took him long enough. What does he need all that stuff on him for, anyway?
This time, something doesn't have to push herself to keep up, having less of a gap between them to begin with. It means he holds her attention better, too, even if she isn't immune to zoning out, eyes ahead, and shuffling forward with the intent to move past him. Something realizes pretty quickly that she doesn't have anything she's going towards, which is fine until she realizes that she realizes that. Is that...a problem? Oh. This one, again. He knows where to go. He must be going somewhere, and she should follow. Yes. Brilliant. Something is pleased.]
I went and fixed the comment above and then forgot to hit send on the edit...
[Back into city streets, they go, away from greens and into silvers that catch the light and grey that sparkles under the sun. She passes him by and goes back to following him. It's not quite walking side-by-side, but it's so close to having another person that it makes the whole world look different. They're taking their time as two dead people do, but with a purpose that the other dead can't comprehend.]
If you... see anything... you like best... you just... let me know...
[She's probably not that conscious yet, but it's a worth a shot. He decides to babble to her a little, suggesting options and telling of the things he personally liked.]
Like this jacket... saw this... left in a store... new I... had to have it... and it's been... really great...
[There aren't even any doors or front windows left to the little shopping center. The raids hit many places hard even where the undead themselves didn't. Some places are cleaned right out, but big centers like this usually got overwhelmed with both the dead and the living trying to make their way, meaning there may actually be some clothes left behind. At the very least, it's easy to pass over all the crunching glass and grab the first bit of clean fabric he sees. He tears into strips then gestures for her to walk to him.
He takes her hand, the same and yet different from the place she died in. He tries to hold it steady while he wraps the fabric pieces around and over.]
[She doesn't seem to mind his babbling, though that also comes with the problem of her not doing much to acknowledge it, either. Sometimes, if it seems like he's searching for something in particular from her, she'll give a sort of toneless moan. She can understand, at least a little, that he's looking for something else, too -- something she can't provide. Maybe food? That would make sense.
When he grabs her, there's a weak moment where she tries to flail free, not pleased with being restrained despite the fact that she'd willingly placed herself into his reach. Something calms down again when she realizes -- obviously -- it's him, though it doesn't illuminate the why of it at all. She gives a questioning creak as she flexes the fingers she has left to try and catch the thing he's holding without stopping his work, somehow. Unable to, something leans her face in close and swipes the fabric with her tongue. It makes her growl low in her throat. It didn't taste good before, but this was nothing...and felt weird.]
[Sometimes the groans are disappointing, but most of the time, he just nods his head as if that's a perfectly acceptable answer. Honestly, from the undead, it's pretty damn responsive. He tries not to expect too much from her. Even he took a long time to pull himself together after "waking".
There's a split second moment he thinks he'll have to fight her to get these bandages on and it's a stab of dread in his guts, but just like that, she settles. He lets out a breath of relief and gets to work and snorts when she tries to more pathetically intervene. And then lick the bandage.]
Sorry... Have to keep you... intact... best we can... We'll find... something else... something chewy...
[He starts up again, gesturing for her to follow and checking back if she doesn't. It might be a bit dehumanizing, but, if there's anything in the world that's going to outlast a zombie bite, it'll probably be a dog toy. Next stop, pet store.
He looks for something sturdy, then further for some way to string it up in a necklace of sorts. It might take some convincing when it tasted nothing like flesh, but maybe with time. He also chances a look to see if there's anything left alive in the pet store but the results are just as disheartening as he'd expect.
One more stop, this time, hoodie town. He waffles over giving her something her size or more oversized. One will be easier to keep clean, but the other will probably hide her missing fingers a little. He holds them both up to her.]
What do you... think...?
[Of course, he doesn't expect a real answer. He'll probably go with the oversized. More cover for her. The struggle will be in actually getting it on her.]
[As she hears up to move again, her shoulder or knee will jerk forward, a sudden twitch like her body is surprised by the impulse, or maybe is expecting more direction than it gets. She follows, though. She struggles at times, but she always follows. Something thinks, somehow, that if she were more than she was, she'd be upset. Was it because she was hungry? No... That was frustrating and it would be painful if she let herself dwell on it for too long, but past the wall between herself and these feelings is something...different. It's not that flavor of upset. Mmm. She wonders what it tastes like.
Oh -- ]
Iuhh?
[Oh. He's expecting, again. She has to give him something, even though he's...offering something out? It isn't something that can quiet that hunger, but maybe applying the same rule will work. And there is...something else. Maybe? A shadow that aligned with the decision she already made, however disappointing her criteria was. Bigger is better.
Ryder agrees, so something twists the head they share more in the direction of the oversized hoodie and starts to try reaching out with arms that may as well have fallen asleep, with how difficult it is to direct them properly.]
[Her arms lift. His eyes go round with surprise. She's... picking one. She's picking one! She's making a choice! His face breaks into a wild grin.]
Ryder...! You're amazing...! [Holy shit. This is really happening.] You want... the big one...? Okay... Okay... lets get this... on you... Don't panic...
[He tosses the other hoodie aside, then rolls up the larger one so it'll be easier to slip over her head without completely disorienting her.]
Arms... through the holes... [He tries to guide her through. He's glad she chose the larger for another reason, which is that it's easier to dress her than it would've been otherwise.] There... you are... Cozy... right...?
[Why does it make her stomach lurch? She gurgles to try and ask him, but something going over her head, however briefly, surprises her out of it. Woah? The hoodie and his guiding hands catch her from falling back, not that she understands how fortunate she is for that. Then again...it wouldn't really matter. Hm.
Well, it was avoided. Not worth thinking about, even if something could.]
Zzh.
[She blinks slowly at him. If she were a cat, it would be a show of affection and trust rather than a weak, wiggly worm of brain matter trying to keep up with a world moving too fast. There is trust, though, even if it makes no sense. She wouldn't be here, trying to hold her arms out to him again, otherwise. That reaction when she'd done it before... The warmth of it reminds her of the red of the rabbit. There's something other than the stiffness in her arms, too -- on, though, not in. Was it warmth again? She doesn't...know.]
[She deals with like a champ, with minimal fussing or swatting. It makes him beam all the more. He might still attribute the slow blink to a sluggish mind, but it's nice to be reminded of trusting cats. It's not something he's ever going to see again.
He steps back to give her space once again, but she's still got her arms out. It's like something out of a classic zombie film, only in real life, it doesn't quite make sense. He tilts his head at her, then lets out a breath of a life.]
You can... put your arms... back down... We're all set... [He pauses.] Guess I could... find shelter...? Never did... bother much... always just... kept moving... Maybe hunting... more... though we... just washed... Now I can't... decide...
[Oh... It didn't work that time. That's frustrating. She lets her arms fall with a growl that rattles around her skull and distracts her from trying to figure out what he's babbling about. Maybe if he doesn't appreciate her efforts, she won't do that mimicking thing that had made him happy before, either! Hmph! That'll show him.
...Something really isn't quite so sure why she's taking it so personally, but it's a little interesting, she supposes, that she can take it personally at all. Something was just something. It was the more, she concludes with a long rasp of whatever air had managed to find its way back into her lungs. Well, that more can do whatever she wanted. Something's got other business to attend to. Time to chew on her hand -- the other one that isn't covered in the weird texture, now -- and wander off. God, she's hungry.]
-- onnn.
[There was this open area... Or mostly open. There were a few stragglers not worth paying attention to and these...waist-high things cluttering the place up that are stubbornly staying in her way. Annoying. Something slaps ineffectually at one's flat top, trying to claw through it, before looking about with a puzzled furrow to her brow. What made her think this was right?
...This answer doesn't come to her, either, so something decides it must not be important. What's important? Oh. Where's that guy? He knew things. She needs to copy him again.]
[He tilts his head at her and her growling, but he only looks amused. When it was him, he wouldn't have thought the process of awakening was any kind of adorable. He'd think it was as monstrous and ugly as him. But, right now, he's seeing it in her, not youthful or innocent, but something close.]
You're right... best to... move on... can decide... as we--
[He stops talking, watching as she goes about slapping things. Now he looks confused.]
[It's frustrating. It's so incredibly frustrating, not knowing why she's been driven to do something, but feeling driven all the same. She curls her fingers when he doesn't have a suggestion for her, and scrapes them slowly across the table, pressing insistently like if she tries harder, it will suddenly be clear to one or both of them. What is this, and why is it important to her being hungry? That bit of herself that was muted under a pile of dirt and worms wants to kick it over, or -- flip it? Something about flipping it seems appealing, but she can't direct herself to do it even if that whisper of a voice really would enjoy that. And she can't chew on herself, she's reminded as she brings that hand up.
Maybe if it hadn't been such a hard day for both of the hers inside of her, she wouldn’t be fighting back those tears that are just starting to go cloudy again. She’s furious with herself and this wall in her way, or at least as furious as she can be. Hungry and in pain, but numb.
Something huffs and shoves the table again before swiping her hoodie sleeve across her face. Okay, focus. Try again. Maybe it wasn’t this thing specifically that was supposed to help feed her, but something related? Maybe it was — like whatever was on the other side of the wall. Just had something between it and the meaning. She doesn’t pause to try and figure out how much sense that made, the way someone else named Ryder would have. Something just stumbles off to trail a hand — her nails, her destructive predator claws that could grasp and hunt — along the wall until she came to a gap that led to another…thing. Not table. Counter? A counter with something familiar on it. Something curls her fingers around the top of the computer monitor that was used to take orders and sat above a now-exposed and empty cash register, shaking it back and forth. Give food.]
[Her eyes have gone shiny. He sees the tears welling up but more notably, he sees the way she wipes them away with her sleeve. That's an entirely human gesture. The dead didn't care if anyone saw them wail. The dead hardly knew what they cried for.
Just as he's going to wipe her tears, she's wandering. But, it's not her usual sort of wandering. This has purpose. He watches her go up to a restaurant counter like she's about to ask for a large fry. He watches her shake the cash register.
It might be funny, if it weren't so crushingly sad.
He goes to her, walking to her side and then taking her hand. Then the other. He looks into her face.]
I'll hunt... I'll hunt for you... But it won't stop... it doesn't stop... we're hungry... I can't fix it... I'm sorry...
[He tries to draw her back. Time to leave the little shopping center. He should've realized the answer to his earlier question before he asked it: the best thing for her would always be food.]
[She growls, but she lets him pull her back and drops her arms as if they're filled with lead so that he's the only thing keeping them up. They're hungry -- yes, he's right. She's really hungry. He understands again. But...
Something blinks, slow and dazed, as she struggles with the rest of his words. Doesn't...stop? It never stops. This was always. If she could be tired, that might be exhausting, but she was always, too. She didn't stop. It would all balance itself out, wouldn't it? He seems upset about it, though -- different from the way something and the other one is upset, she thinks. Toddling along after him, her shoulder jerks again and her elbow follows, then her hand. Her fingers flex experimentally before grabbing with more purpose, taking his. Properly holding his hand.
Okay. They will go find something. Together. Even if she forgets, the feeling what's there always alongside her, so she can't forget, not really.
'Try t' r'member... Don't wanna -- '
Yeah. She'll do it. Right -- he's here because she let him stay. Her brows furrow before she nods limply to herself and grips his hand a little tighter again. Remember he's here. Remember he'll find something. Her...? Or for her? Okay. Either way is fine. Something will stay with him while she looks to fill this emptiness inside.]
Ssss... [agh ehh? oop? heer? Her eyes roll as if she can see the options on a wheel in front of her and she has to settle on one. There's more. Her mouth moves, testing it.] Aay...fff.
[She takes his hand. He slows and looks back at her. Did she mean to? Is it habit or...?
Her eyes are just as blank as his own, but her brows are furrowed in the way that his are, small expressive bits of proof that they're here. They're still here. Her grip tightens. They're still here and every sign she gives breaks his heart all over again. So of course, she's not done breaking it.]
Yes... [He smiles and breathes a laugh and wants to cry.] Yes, I... said that I'd... keep you safe... that you were... safe with me...
[He hopes she's never done breaking it. He reaches out and pushes back a bit of her hair, for no reason other than the impulse to show affection.]
[The hand coming her way gets as much of a look of curiosity she can manage, slowed in an almost drunken way as something tries to pilot her eyes without moving her head around too much. It's harder than she'd expect, especially after nearly managing that same thing just seconds before, and as much as she still doesn't understand the things he does, the brushing away of her hair feels a bit like a reward for all her effort.]
Mmuhhhm.
[With something like optimism driving her forward, something gets moving again, intent on tugging him along if she has to. Food, food, food...]
[The hunt goes much the same. He takes a shot, they rush for the creature, she gets to eat and it's not enough because it's never enough. Only, this time, there isn't anything for him at all. It feels like agony, just as it does for her, he's sure, but his lesser mind insists that he's missed out despite knowing it will do nothing for him.
He wants to scream. He doesn't, of course, but he's starting to see the problem with this. She's not capable of sharing-- the frenzy takes over even him, even now. She's also not conscious enough to be left alone. The hunger doesn't go. But his grip on consciousness and sanity can.
He's got time. He can go a good week, probably more. He might even be able to go a month or two. The dead that wandered about certainly weren't finding food every day. He could push it, probably.
But, eventually, he needs to eat. He needs something and it's got to be for him and he can't be competing with her for it. He can't take care of her if he can't take care of himself.
All this stretches out. While he's sure she'd like him to keep on hunting, he's got to make a plan for something else. He's got to find her shelter.
The good thing about being dead is that they don't have to be quite so picky. Ground floors are just fine, if one can find something that wasn't destroyed in the chaos and later looting. A nice building. A nice bed. He guides her to it.]
I know you... don't feel like it... but... I need you to... sleep... Feels nice... helps us too... Be more sane... More human... What do you say...?
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storywalks) wrote2022-02-14 11:30 am
no subject
And his other hand goes to try and pull hers from her teeth. He speaks gently.]
You shouldn't... We don't heal... you'll make your... hand worse...
[He knows such scolding is pointless. He still feels the need to say it.]
I'll find you... something else... okay...?
no subject
Huuhhp.
[Nobody's really clean anymore, but at least something is no longer covered in someone's blood, rabbit gore, piss, or vomit.]
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That train of thought picks up and takes off as she leans into his hand. His chest feels tight. He wavers, wondering if it would be selfish or violating to stroke her cheek, or if it would help her, or bother. He does it just once, with his thumb, then shifts forward in the water to draw her to himself.]
Your name... is Ryder... You miss... your mom... normal things... You let me stay... while you turned... Do you... remember?
no subject
Her name is Ryder...? She knows the words individually, somewhere in there -- a lingering familiarity that she can't get too close to, but can see behind some fence. Trying to string them together made the fence get some barbed wire and electrify. Something is more than she is, and even has a name... What...was it?
So close to her death, she doesn't yet have the dark, inky black tears Teo cries now, and her face is still dripping. It'll be hard to notice the cloudy tears that well up in Ryder's eyes. Something doesn't understand. She can't. Ryder struggles with it, too.]
Mmuh-uhhh...
[Both of their hands fumble on their way to trying to grasp at his front, and Ryder's are shaking.]
Mmm...
no subject
If he is, he's going to find out eventually, won't he? And if he's wrong about this, then he'll never be sure of anyone ever again, if there even is another person like this. He'll have to assume he projected on this girl because she was dying and he didn't want her to. He didn't want her to...
She grips the front of his sweater. Her hands shake. He brings his forehead to hers and holds the back of her head.]
I'm sorry... you were supposed to... see her...Now you're... stuck with me... I'm sorry...
[Sorry she died. Sorry she suffered. Sorry that it's going to be hard for a long time and probably harder before it's easier.]
I was... like you... but alone... So now I'm... going to try... and protect you...
no subject
Oo..ouuh.
[She can see the way his lips move so well from here. Something tenses and relaxes her jaw to try and mimic the movement. She ends up turning half of her mouth into a grin, almost like his promise amuses her, even though whatever bits her mind was able to brush against at all have since slipped away.]
no subject
Are you... smiling...?
[It seems she might be. Only, she hasn't got the other side matching. He smiles too, lopsided as her.]
It's supposed... be both... I just... can't do it...
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Satisfied that she'd done a good job copying him, she lets her attention drift off again, a grim recreation of a bored student in their third lecture class of the day. Unlike that bored student, she doesn't ask for permission to get out of her seat, unsteadily raising back up to a stand. It's hard to keep her steps headed in a helpful direction, legs a little unresponsive from the cold of the water even if they haven't sunk into rigor. She wouldn't actually know what a helpful direction was, would she?
Realizing this (sort of), her head tips to let her get Teo fully in her sights. He might know.]
no subject
He could cry. He could cry from happiness if it wouldn't make a whole mess of himself.
She rises up, done with all this, and he decides that's fair. He gets up too, going to grab the bow and arrows and everything else he left out of the water. With it slung back on, he starts back for the city.
Back and forth... I know... but I want to... get you something... to wrap that hand... conceal you... a little...
no subject
This time, something doesn't have to push herself to keep up, having less of a gap between them to begin with. It means he holds her attention better, too, even if she isn't immune to zoning out, eyes ahead, and shuffling forward with the intent to move past him. Something realizes pretty quickly that she doesn't have anything she's going towards, which is fine until she realizes that she realizes that. Is that...a problem? Oh. This one, again. He knows where to go. He must be going somewhere, and she should follow. Yes. Brilliant. Something is pleased.]
I went and fixed the comment above and then forgot to hit send on the edit...
If you... see anything... you like best... you just... let me know...
[She's probably not that conscious yet, but it's a worth a shot. He decides to babble to her a little, suggesting options and telling of the things he personally liked.]
Like this jacket... saw this... left in a store... new I... had to have it... and it's been... really great...
[There aren't even any doors or front windows left to the little shopping center. The raids hit many places hard even where the undead themselves didn't. Some places are cleaned right out, but big centers like this usually got overwhelmed with both the dead and the living trying to make their way, meaning there may actually be some clothes left behind. At the very least, it's easy to pass over all the crunching glass and grab the first bit of clean fabric he sees. He tears into strips then gestures for her to walk to him.
He takes her hand, the same and yet different from the place she died in. He tries to hold it steady while he wraps the fabric pieces around and over.]
oh........
When he grabs her, there's a weak moment where she tries to flail free, not pleased with being restrained despite the fact that she'd willingly placed herself into his reach. Something calms down again when she realizes -- obviously -- it's him, though it doesn't illuminate the why of it at all. She gives a questioning creak as she flexes the fingers she has left to try and catch the thing he's holding without stopping his work, somehow. Unable to, something leans her face in close and swipes the fabric with her tongue. It makes her growl low in her throat. It didn't taste good before, but this was nothing...and felt weird.]
no subject
There's a split second moment he thinks he'll have to fight her to get these bandages on and it's a stab of dread in his guts, but just like that, she settles. He lets out a breath of relief and gets to work and snorts when she tries to more pathetically intervene. And then lick the bandage.]
Sorry... Have to keep you... intact... best we can... We'll find... something else... something chewy...
[He starts up again, gesturing for her to follow and checking back if she doesn't. It might be a bit dehumanizing, but, if there's anything in the world that's going to outlast a zombie bite, it'll probably be a dog toy. Next stop, pet store.
He looks for something sturdy, then further for some way to string it up in a necklace of sorts. It might take some convincing when it tasted nothing like flesh, but maybe with time. He also chances a look to see if there's anything left alive in the pet store but the results are just as disheartening as he'd expect.
One more stop, this time, hoodie town. He waffles over giving her something her size or more oversized. One will be easier to keep clean, but the other will probably hide her missing fingers a little. He holds them both up to her.]
What do you... think...?
[Of course, he doesn't expect a real answer. He'll probably go with the oversized. More cover for her. The struggle will be in actually getting it on her.]
no subject
Oh -- ]
Iuhh?
[Oh. He's expecting, again. She has to give him something, even though he's...offering something out? It isn't something that can quiet that hunger, but maybe applying the same rule will work. And there is...something else. Maybe? A shadow that aligned with the decision she already made, however disappointing her criteria was. Bigger is better.
Ryder agrees, so something twists the head they share more in the direction of the oversized hoodie and starts to try reaching out with arms that may as well have fallen asleep, with how difficult it is to direct them properly.]
Hhhhh.
no subject
Ryder...! You're amazing...! [Holy shit. This is really happening.] You want... the big one...? Okay... Okay... lets get this... on you... Don't panic...
[He tosses the other hoodie aside, then rolls up the larger one so it'll be easier to slip over her head without completely disorienting her.]
Arms... through the holes... [He tries to guide her through. He's glad she chose the larger for another reason, which is that it's easier to dress her than it would've been otherwise.] There... you are... Cozy... right...?
no subject
Well, it was avoided. Not worth thinking about, even if something could.]
Zzh.
[She blinks slowly at him. If she were a cat, it would be a show of affection and trust rather than a weak, wiggly worm of brain matter trying to keep up with a world moving too fast. There is trust, though, even if it makes no sense. She wouldn't be here, trying to hold her arms out to him again, otherwise. That reaction when she'd done it before... The warmth of it reminds her of the red of the rabbit. There's something other than the stiffness in her arms, too -- on, though, not in. Was it warmth again? She doesn't...know.]
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He steps back to give her space once again, but she's still got her arms out. It's like something out of a classic zombie film, only in real life, it doesn't quite make sense. He tilts his head at her, then lets out a breath of a life.]
You can... put your arms... back down... We're all set... [He pauses.] Guess I could... find shelter...? Never did... bother much... always just... kept moving... Maybe hunting... more... though we... just washed... Now I can't... decide...
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...Something really isn't quite so sure why she's taking it so personally, but it's a little interesting, she supposes, that she can take it personally at all. Something was just something. It was the more, she concludes with a long rasp of whatever air had managed to find its way back into her lungs. Well, that more can do whatever she wanted. Something's got other business to attend to. Time to chew on her hand -- the other one that isn't covered in the weird texture, now -- and wander off. God, she's hungry.]
-- onnn.
[There was this open area... Or mostly open. There were a few stragglers not worth paying attention to and these...waist-high things cluttering the place up that are stubbornly staying in her way. Annoying. Something slaps ineffectually at one's flat top, trying to claw through it, before looking about with a puzzled furrow to her brow. What made her think this was right?
...This answer doesn't come to her, either, so something decides it must not be important. What's important? Oh. Where's that guy? He knew things. She needs to copy him again.]
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You're right... best to... move on... can decide... as we--
[He stops talking, watching as she goes about slapping things. Now he looks confused.]
What are... you doing there...?
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Maybe if it hadn't been such a hard day for both of the hers inside of her, she wouldn’t be fighting back those tears that are just starting to go cloudy again. She’s furious with herself and this wall in her way, or at least as furious as she can be. Hungry and in pain, but numb.
Something huffs and shoves the table again before swiping her hoodie sleeve across her face. Okay, focus. Try again. Maybe it wasn’t this thing specifically that was supposed to help feed her, but something related? Maybe it was — like whatever was on the other side of the wall. Just had something between it and the meaning. She doesn’t pause to try and figure out how much sense that made, the way someone else named Ryder would have. Something just stumbles off to trail a hand — her nails, her destructive predator claws that could grasp and hunt — along the wall until she came to a gap that led to another…thing. Not table. Counter? A counter with something familiar on it. Something curls her fingers around the top of the computer monitor that was used to take orders and sat above a now-exposed and empty cash register, shaking it back and forth. Give food.]
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[Her eyes have gone shiny. He sees the tears welling up but more notably, he sees the way she wipes them away with her sleeve. That's an entirely human gesture. The dead didn't care if anyone saw them wail. The dead hardly knew what they cried for.
Just as he's going to wipe her tears, she's wandering. But, it's not her usual sort of wandering. This has purpose. He watches her go up to a restaurant counter like she's about to ask for a large fry. He watches her shake the cash register.
It might be funny, if it weren't so crushingly sad.
He goes to her, walking to her side and then taking her hand. Then the other. He looks into her face.]
I'll hunt... I'll hunt for you... But it won't stop... it doesn't stop... we're hungry... I can't fix it... I'm sorry...
[He tries to draw her back. Time to leave the little shopping center. He should've realized the answer to his earlier question before he asked it: the best thing for her would always be food.]
Come on... I'll find something...
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Something blinks, slow and dazed, as she struggles with the rest of his words. Doesn't...stop? It never stops. This was always. If she could be tired, that might be exhausting, but she was always, too. She didn't stop. It would all balance itself out, wouldn't it? He seems upset about it, though -- different from the way something and the other one is upset, she thinks. Toddling along after him, her shoulder jerks again and her elbow follows, then her hand. Her fingers flex experimentally before grabbing with more purpose, taking his. Properly holding his hand.
Okay. They will go find something. Together. Even if she forgets, the feeling what's there always alongside her, so she can't forget, not really.
'Try t' r'member... Don't wanna -- '
Yeah. She'll do it. Right -- he's here because she let him stay. Her brows furrow before she nods limply to herself and grips his hand a little tighter again. Remember he's here. Remember he'll find something. Her...? Or for her? Okay. Either way is fine. Something will stay with him while she looks to fill this emptiness inside.]
Ssss... [agh ehh? oop? heer? Her eyes roll as if she can see the options on a wheel in front of her and she has to settle on one. There's more. Her mouth moves, testing it.] Aay...fff.
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Her eyes are just as blank as his own, but her brows are furrowed in the way that his are, small expressive bits of proof that they're here. They're still here. Her grip tightens. They're still here and every sign she gives breaks his heart all over again. So of course, she's not done breaking it.]
Yes... [He smiles and breathes a laugh and wants to cry.] Yes, I... said that I'd... keep you safe... that you were... safe with me...
[He hopes she's never done breaking it. He reaches out and pushes back a bit of her hair, for no reason other than the impulse to show affection.]
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Mmuhhhm.
[With something like optimism driving her forward, something gets moving again, intent on tugging him along if she has to. Food, food, food...]
Just a lil timeskippy if that's OK
He wants to scream. He doesn't, of course, but he's starting to see the problem with this. She's not capable of sharing-- the frenzy takes over even him, even now. She's also not conscious enough to be left alone. The hunger doesn't go. But his grip on consciousness and sanity can.
He's got time. He can go a good week, probably more. He might even be able to go a month or two. The dead that wandered about certainly weren't finding food every day. He could push it, probably.
But, eventually, he needs to eat. He needs something and it's got to be for him and he can't be competing with her for it. He can't take care of her if he can't take care of himself.
All this stretches out. While he's sure she'd like him to keep on hunting, he's got to make a plan for something else. He's got to find her shelter.
The good thing about being dead is that they don't have to be quite so picky. Ground floors are just fine, if one can find something that wasn't destroyed in the chaos and later looting. A nice building. A nice bed. He guides her to it.]
I know you... don't feel like it... but... I need you to... sleep... Feels nice... helps us too... Be more sane... More human... What do you say...?
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