[She'd like to say she chose a night with the roar of bad weather on purpose, using it to dodge the chance of running into other people -- and if asked, she'd likely make some joke about it to pass off as truth. In truth, she hates the rain and the way it makes her white clothes stick to her and makes her feel like someone's drenched her in garbage. It doesn't even wash the blood out of her clothes and hair.]
Almost there~ Follow, follow! [Her voice lilts like a song, like she isn't a joyless fuck that killed a man an two hours or so ago and has been walking ever since. The girl behind her makes some kind of noise, but a rumble of thunder makes Lotte unsure whether it was a word or a blubbered sob. It isn't like she cares anyway. Just a little further. Then they can rest.
Neither of them stay in one place if they can help it, but they have ways of reaching each other and a series of safe havens they can fall back on -- hardly more than a rest stop. It's one of those rare occasions she actually reaches out with more than a ridiculous image or gruesome display, and she isn't looking forward to seeing him at all.
Still. He's the only one that comes close to understanding.] Just you and me, and me, and me...
[Lotte sighs and yanks the other girl by the arm up a curb and over to a door that couldn't stand out if it tried. Not her style, since it wasn't pure white and hiding pure white walls and floors inside, but you can only be too picky when you want to be better about staying under the radar. Holding tight, she kicks at the door twice before reaching for the handle. As long as he's arrived already, they don't have a thing to worry about, and if he hasn't? ...The odds of someone that wasn't some useless squatter no one would miss being there were incredibly low.
She opens her mouth to call out a Honey, I'm home~ that would disgust both of them, but only a sigh comes out. She just needs to sit herself and other flesh golem down for a rest.]
Trust him. Okay?
[She doesn't need to turn to see the jerky, tearful nod. She'd listen.]
[For all the both of them move around and for all he'd like to think he's getting better at this living on the run thing, somehow they still end up moving in tandem, never quite detaching the way they both should. It's not like he's trying to stick close, he's just following where the monsters go. Lo and behold, it's the same place that whatever insane bullshit follows her goes. Convenient for her.
But he is not in the mood today. The moment the heavens opened up to pour on down, his mood soured. It's not the same as it was in the inner world but it doesn't stop the memories from inundating him and it doesn't stop him from hating the chill and the way it drenches him. He's hardly dried at all when she kicks at the door. He might've shown up just like she wanted, but he's still turning to glower.
At least until another one of her stumbles in.
He rises to his feet, chair scraping sharply across the floor. His black eyes wide and round as he looks from one pale girl to the other and then finally settles back on the one he knows. What. The Hell.]
[It's tempting to shake herself out like a dog, just like it's tempting to let him gape there stupidly without offering explanation nor greeting. Instead she meets his gaze for a moment before looking over to the other girl and tugging her further into the room.]
Go sit over there, V.
[V, as she's apparently named, moves to sit in another chair as indicated. Her eyes, wide with white on white on white, are glued to the man as a mix of tears and rain drip down. Lotte remains where she is, kicking the door shut behind her again and dripping defiantly onto the floor. The place sucked already. It's fine.
But this is annoying, so she bares her teeth in a lie of a grin.]
Hmmm? What's with that face? Did you think you were the only one I was a sister to? Or maybe you're thinking that one of me was more than enough? You'd hurt her feelings, if she had any.
[Her sneering snaps him out of it. Naturally, he has to sneer right back, matching her grimace of a grin.]
Compared to who's in this room? [He gives V a look over, scowling at the sight of tears.] Looks like she might be bursting at the seams.
When you talked about the sister thing, I assumed you needed an alibi for something and thought bullshitting some twisted attachment to me would work for you. I didn't think you actually collected family.
[He looks back to V again, but the tears still make his nose scrunch up in displeasure.]
[Bursting at the seams. That's extra funny when, if someone were to compare them, V had more obvious scarring at where she'd been put together -- well, Lotte thinks it's funny, at least. She hums at his comment, neither a confirmation nor denial, before she busies herself with brushing off her clothes like that will be enough to get rid of both the water and the blood. Yeah, it had been an alibi to manipulate some idiot with very little grasp on reality, but where's the fun in reassuring him of that?
One of them looking a little odd, V's hands fidget with each other where they lay on top of her thighs, but she manages to not look to her counterpart for permission or the answer. Lotte would almost be proud of her...but she'd told her to trust him, and even then, she was a good girl. Not like her. The odds of her complying without being commanded were higher, and in the end her answer isn't overly helpful.]
I was in the house with Father. ...Q killed him before he was done and told me to come with her.
[Lotte rolls her eyes, 'cheerfully' supplementing,] The guy that had her was using her for his entertainment. She's built better for it than me, wouldn't you say? [With a shameless gesture to her chest, made even flatter by the binder she wears. Between the two, V was certainly the more matured, looking like she might be Lotte's older sister despite the fact that she'd been made after. She, at least, has the sense to look embarrassed by everything the other girl says.
Anyway. Her voice goes dead when she continues.] I don't think she's been outside in years. She was a real pain on the way over until I told her to shut up.
Nnn... I-I'm sorry.
Uh-huh. So~ I thought we could practice with her. Oh, and it'd be really nice of you if we could have some blood. That guy's was trash.
[His mouth twists into an ugly snarl. His flash. He wants to snap at Lotte to, for once in her damn life, keep the creepy little comments in her head. But for one, he knows that won't stop her, for two, she did go out of her way to kill the bastard, and three, the implications are already more than he wants to deal with.
He hears the top frame of the chair crunch under his fingers before he feels it. He lets go without a glance, slipping his hands into his pockets.]
... I thought you said you were going to bring the creeps to me. Really letting me down. But I guess it couldn't wait.
[He'll need to go out and find the soul. It's been a while since he's seen those gates but there's no way someone like that will be going anywhere but Hell.]
You're still an idiot though. I can't give you my blood. You'll either be dead in minutes or I'll have to put you down.
Yeah, yeah. I'll give you the address so you can clean up later.
[Mostly it'd be more convenient for him to do than for her to have wasted her time on it, but she did honestly figure there'd be some weird soul shit he could take care of that she couldn't, too. She's selfish, but like. Come on. Gotta love when people stop denying how badly they want to destroy others, one way or another. One of those constants.
Lotte offers him an exaggerated, wide-eyed pout to refute his objection before settling back into an annoyed grimace again. The urge to argue that it wasn't like her 'sister' was alive anyway rises -- but she's fought too hard for her life to accept it. They were different, but in that way they were the same. It wasn't V's fault that whatever acted as brain cells went into emotional output instead of intelligence, either. She sighs, deciding not to push it.]
Oh, she'll be fine, then. Looks like you've gotten used to your broken fingers anyway, right?
[V seems a little startled, but nods. Of course. It wasn't a problem. They were healed up, anyway, just...not properly in their place. That seems to satisfy the other golem enough, because Lotte skips over to her and pats her on the head.]
Good girl.
[If she had a tail, it'd be wagging happily at the smallest of praises. Disgusting. Lotte suppresses the urge to pull her hair. Instead, she marches behind V's chair and props her arms on the back of it so she can watch him rather than her.]
It might be inevitable, anyway. She can't be trusted to live on her own how she is, and neither of us are cut out for babysitting. [Unless, like, someone really hated their baby. Honestly, who wouldn't? So loud and annoying. Never understood that one.] Hey. Did you mean it? When you said we'd break whatever shackles I have. It could be a huge pain, you know?
[Of course, he's not one to deny how much he craves destruction. It's everything he is. He's just sorry he won't be able to make the guy suffer more and still sent him to where he belongs.
She turns a pout on him and he turns a flat look right back. He's honestly surprised when she doesn't push it. Of course, that does bring him to eyeing up those broken fingers with distaste. He knows what he's going to have to do here and he doesn't like it.
But then, he doesn't like a lot about this.]
Are you really going to keep treating her like a dog?
[He takes a step toward V, turning his sharp glare on her.]
Oi. Hold your hand out if you want it fixed more than you like not hurting.
[He's no healer and he's said that before, but he can set a bone like anybody else. He goes back to speaking to Lotte.]
So you came to me to kill her off for you or find someone else to dump her on. As if I know where the hell to put her. [Home. "Home", rather, is the most obvious place. Drop her off there and let them figure out this strange girl in the clinic. But that means going back. Dammit.] You're already a huge pain, you realize. I said what I said. I don't just spew bullshit.
[Like a dog. Good girl. Good dog. It really was the same thing, and she has to laugh in lieu of answering. She wants to take a bat to him, and she enjoys imagining smashing his mask to teeny tiny pieces, but... Even if she did, she knows that a minute later she'd be trying to piece it back together again. It'd be hard to say which part would make her hate herself more.
Her head tips curiously, watching to see what happens when it registers to V that the command she was already starting to follow was really a choice. The girl's hand hovers, kept aloft by her uncertainty, but after a couple seconds she lets it fall again. Lotte clicks her tongue even if she can't tell whether or not she's disappointed.
She has a similar mixed feeling about his answer, but at least this time she knows it's because of the fact that this was one of those times that, should her heart beat like any other girl's, it'd be pulsing so hard it hurt. Her eyes stay dead, but she manages a small smile and leans to rest her chin on V's head.
She's really doing this, huh? It's her last chance to turn back.]
Yay! That's good for us, V! Even with that personality, he tries really hard to be good, doesn't he? We'll have to see how much it's just for show eventually, so let's not waste anyone's time more, okay? V, bark like a dog.
[With the same embarrassment she'd shown before, V looks to the ground but doesn't fuss over it. She barks, soft but undeniable.]
Wow, humiliating! Touch your nose~
[And of course she does. She has to.]
Oh, wait, you've been pretty rude, huh? Greet the nice man already!
A-ah! [She leans forward a little in her fervor to comply this time, even though it means that other girl that looks like her has to straighten back up since her chin rest is gone. She really should have been better than that. What must he be thinking of her?] Hello! It's nice to meet you! I-I'm Charlotte.
[Lotte's arms shift again so that she's gripping the back of the chair with enough force that just that will probably make her fingers bruise. At least she can say any tremble in her hands is from that.]
[Not a fan of pain then. He looks faintly curious, but only for a moment. Definitely not like Lotte. He holds her gaze, both dead-eyed, both without beating hearts.
There's a twitch in his expression when she says he tries to be good. He imagines throwing her fast into the floor. At the very least, he intends to tell her to screw off, when the other girl barks. She follows the commands, one after another, and horror and revulsion fight for the claim of his face.
He looks from V to her. Things click in place real fast. He might not have the solution, and he might not know the exact name for whatever the hell this is, but he knows what it means.
He asked nicely.
Forget throwing her. He wants to throw his fist through a wall.]
Well, what? I'm not holding the leash. You want me to rip it off of her?
[Of you? He scoffs and smirks bitterly, baring his teeth more than anything.]
Looks like we've got more in common than I thought.
[The floor beneath her feels like a wave, leaving her feeling unsteady and queasy, but she manages to stay where she is even after she loosens the death grip she has on the chair. Instead of answering him right away, she pets the top of V's head again and lowers her voice to a murmur.]
Good girl. I have extra clothes in that room. You can change into whatever you want, if it actually fits you. [V tips her head to look at her 'sister' blankly, but does push herself to her feet even though her legs protest it. It had been a lot easier when Q was just telling her to keep walking, instead of leaving it to her... Clothes that were dry and not the minimum Q had snatched from her dresser would be nice, though, she thinks distantly.
Other golem trailing off, Lotte decides to take the chair for herself, slouched with a leg propped up and one arm carelessly thrown over the back -- the picture of a delinquent inhabiting a young girl in once-pristine white. It's for the best that she pretend that she's lax, like she isn't carefully scanning the environment to refresh herself on anything she might be able to use as a weapon, like she isn't preparing herself for him to show his true colors after all because she couldn't listen to what he'd said, she couldn't trust him, he hated her, he said it himself, she was a pain to deal with, he wouldn't have to deal with her, he hated her.]
That's depressing. [For which of them?] I told you, after 85 years I'm out of ideas. And I'm running out of Charlottes. I'm a hard girl to track down, even for me. I was going to study this one for a while, but you can guess why I threw that plan out.
[No telling how long V had been suffering for, either. If it didn't piss her off so much, it might make Lotte feel sorry for the girl.]
[Good dog. It still pisses him off, but even though he's got the chance to voice his thoughts on it now, he doesn't. He watches V leave, he watches Lotte sit, and with a grimace and a sigh, he pulls up his own busted chair to sit.]
I did.
[That much was true. But... he didn't know how. Not that time. And the other times he'd tried... well it just hadn't worked out.]
But I don't have nearly as many masters to worry about or the same kind of cage.
[And he hasn't had to deal with that kind of sick freak.]
...How many times? How many times have you done what I've told you?
[What a pair they are, stewing in their fury, not knowing what to do, and refusing to say what it all is that they think. It really is amazing they've been able to get along well enough to reach the point that Lotte was willing to risk everything.
She rolls her eyes at the question, finally distracted from her paranoid search. The fear and crushing disappointment make her voice a little more harsh than before. Snappish.]
You really are good under the scary look, aren't you? ...Believe me, if you'd made a habit of bossing me around, I wouldn't be here. Pretty early on I stopped counting. I didn't need to keep score. Does that make you feel better?
[His head snaps up, eyes going bright and dragging lines through the air as he growls.]
Fuck off.
[Yeah. It really is a miracle they've gotten this far. But he manages not to snap further, leaning back and giving up on the charade-- he lets his mask form slow over his face, eating away his center to offer that small security.]
... There are people who would know things. If they don't have a solution on hand, then they could probably make one in a week tops. [He doesn't even doubt it for a minute.]
But I don't trust them. Even if I did, which I'll never, I wouldn't be able to get to any of them and have them listen. The quickest way is getting someone else to be a stand-in, find out what we need, and drag them out before anyone knows we're there. But that doesn't mean it's the only way. I don't know how to fix this. [There. He admitted.] I just know there's a way. And I am not the stupid optimistic type.
[He snaps at her. While he's retreating into his mask, Lotte lets hers fall away, leaving something so blank and lifeless she really may as well be a doll. Someone's no fun, she considers saying, but for once in her life pushes the impulse down, because he'd told her to 'fuck off'. He could just as easily have said 'shut up', 'be quiet', or 'stop'. Whether or not it was intentional, leaving her the choice to be a bitch was a kindness she wasn't sure what to do with except to decide it wasn't worth it after all.
He doesn't inspire a lot of confidence, but it really is better than the alternative. After all this time, it would have only been a slap to the face if he came at this with a self-assured sneer and a can-do attitude.
She waves a hand vaguely at the room V wandered into.] That's where our stand-in went. It's too bad she'd probably be exploited immediately. You don't need a brain in order to behave, so she isn't smart enough to deal with people you can't trust -- not that I think it's a good idea trust anyone, of course.
No. She can't go in alone. These people already make a business exploiting others. She'd be lucky to not end up a piece in a friggin' experiment.
[Like he was.
His original thought to send her to the clinic is out. Sure, they might fix her hands, but this? He didn't trust his father to mind himself, he doesn't trust that stupid little plush, even his sisters would exploit it in some way, unintentionally and with no great harm, but still, and Ichigo would be too stupid and useless to stop any of it, nevermind the parade of assholes who liked to waltz in and out of there.
Trusting anyone was stupid. There wasn't anyone who-]
... There's one person. She can heal things and she can defend V and herself. She's got the power to do it and she wouldn't say no to letting V stay in her house. She'd be able to take her, go where they need to, ask for it, and get out with the least trouble.
But, I can't be the one to explain things. Either you need to do it or we need to write a really clear note and attach it to that one. [He jerks a thumb in V's direction.]
[Her grin spreads wide again, both amused and not at his assessment of how lucky V would be.] It's a little late for that. We're all someone's disgusting pet project. [A terrible experiment. The hunter wasn't wrong, unfortunately, when he'd called her an abomination. How noble of this guy to want to keep her from a fate that created her in the first place.
Lotte's eyebrows lift in surprise. For them, that really is...a glowing review. She'd think this person too much of an idiot to get the job done until he notes he couldn't ask her himself.]
Haha. Oh, those protagonists.
[Heroes. The good guys she'd painted him as, when compared to her. Of course the gap between people like that would be no good for someone scary, but she can instantly let go of that lounging posture and pull off sweetness pretty convincingly, as long as she didn't open her mouth. Of course,]
They couldn't say no to a cute little girl like me, but it's been exhausting taking as big a risk as it was to tell you.
[V returns, white zip-up hoodie paired oddly with white shorts, and Lotte claps her hands, looking suddenly excited.]
Oh, oh! Let's make her a jiangshi and staple a note to her forehead!
[As much as her intelligence has been knocked, the newer golem has the awareness to know Lotte is talking about her, and covers her forehead with both hands with a look of concern.]
[By this point, with the way his mask has settled, leaving his eyes nothing more than a twin set of sharp yellow spots of light, it's impossible to see if he's rolling them. His tone covers that.]
I wouldn't think it's too late to avoid crawling back on to the science table. Even lab rats aren't that dumb.
[He doubts any of them were experimented with just once. That would be too simple. He's glad that most of those memories, for him, are only second-hand.
She goes and says protagonists like they're all characters in a story. The damn weirdo. But he finds himself surprised, even with the flippancy of how she says it, that she would admit that this has exhausted her at all. He gets it. He knows even just this, talking now in any normal way at all, should be an impossibility in and of itself.
He finds himself rolling his eyes again.]
There are enough morons and monsters in that town that someone could attack her for that. You can play dress-up on your own time.
[He spares a glance to V, wondering all the while how she'll react the mask.]
[Haha. She's known a Charlotte or two that could be a challenge to his words, and there was also the fact that dumb or not didn't have much to do with it, when it came to flesh golems like her and the others, but she'll spare him the semantics. He really should be so grateful for how much she's behaving tonight! Sigh, she's never as appreciated as she should be. If she was, he'd let her have her fun with a fake talisman that was really more of a pamphlet, if it was to explain why V was there.
The girl doesn't know enough to be afraid of the mask. She hasn't heard all that many stories of things that go bump in the night, despite her unsavory origins herself. It had usually been for the best that she think everything was exactly as it should be. That combined with the familiarity of his voice, even with an spooky interference, means she's no more or less upset than she was before she looks over at him and lets her hands fall.]
My...situation? [She can feel Q's unimpressed glare resting on her, which makes her want to shift uneasily, but she keeps still. Her situation... After thinking about it a moment more, V grimaces, and there's a tremor in her voice and hands that isn't purely keeping in line with what had been her timid nature before.] I'm just another puppet. One of the many. I want...to be loved. I have to be a --
' -- good girl. Because in order to be loved, I'm not allowed to make mistakes'. Oh, good. They kept that horseshit in the later models, hmm? It's fine and all for a dramatic speech, but it's not what I want~ No one cares about the sick thought process behind it.
[It's incredible. Just when he thinks he's met one person who can make him regret every word out of their mouth, there's another making him regret in a new and interesting way, wearing the same face too. He wants to be pissed off at Lotte's interruption but the content is just that bad he tolerates.]
Chh. Congratulations. Your creators are even more sick than the worst one I've had. And that's saying something! I'll be happy to never hear that again.
[He glances back to V again.]
She's right. I don't care for it. It's useless to us. Can you be honest at all? You're not going to change anything if you can't.
Ooh. Do we get a prize for having awful 'parents'?
[She really would like a prize... Nothing good was coming from it otherwise. She goes back to her bored supervising of V, who worries over her out of place fingers in what might be some sort of nervous habit.]
V is equally irritating. He should have figured, though he's not exactly surprised either.]
You're not lying. But that doesn't mean you're telling the truth.
You don't like pain. You've admitted that, the moment you had the chance and the choice to. And yet, what else have you been given? You've tried to be good. And what have you got to show for it? You've had this supposed love dangling over your head while you sit, beg, and rollover. You're telling me you're not tired of it? Do you really think that it's the only option? You could've bitten their fingers by now. [Like Lotte would.] Or you could've run away the moment the door opened wide enough. It's a big world out there.
You've got a chance to get the collar off. But you're not a stupid mutt. You have to be able to ask for it. Do you want to be free or not?
[It's a talent, she thinks, how she can get a rise out of him without even trying. Then again, his personality wasn't a treat. It probably wasn't that hard -- even V could do it!]
Tch. What do you want me to say? I dunno what your deal is, but I was supposed to be their ideal daughter.
[Couldn't he tell? So cute, so pure, with beautiful long hair to brush and fawn over and flawless skin. Perfectly obedient. Perfect.
Or she could be a terrible gremlin who only waits a few beats into V's troubled, overwhelmed thinking before giving a loud, exasperated sigh.]
I told you, she isn't smart enough for this sort of thing. Funny, right? How I'm the one that's defective.
[But hey, she was right: even V could piss him off. As much as she might normally bask in that fact, she's really not in the mood. Seeing herself so useless and blank, eager to please... If she plays around too much being cute, chirpy, snarky, anything but how she really is, she's going to puke. What comes out is basically vomit made of frustration anyway.]
You think she can make a meaningful choice? She's been busy downing the koolaid for who knows how long. I didn't bring her here with some fairytale dream of a future family, all I did was rescue her from the trash so I could recycle her into something that's more than an airheaded doll made to please.
Look. I'm tired. I'm sick of finding them just to find out there's nobody there, or for the ones with any sense at all to kill themselves as soon as they realize there's something other than the same thing they've always done! Why should I have to risk becoming one of them by trying to actually exist for myself? She's here so she can be the prototype this time! Don't bother looking for anything more than that or a dog.
[There's a snap impulse to say that he had good parents. But no, that's not true. Dad knew full well he existed, even why and he still let all of that happen. Ichigo could forgive, but he sure as hell wasn't going to.]
I had a family. The ones involved in my creation weren't it.
[And he says nothing more on the matter. She probably won't believe him. She didn't believe he had sisters either.
He stares at V and he listens to Lotte speak. The frustration is obvious. He gets that too. Sometimes he'd screamed his rage to the skies in lieu of a better option back then. Even that hope, that brief sense of thinking maybe, maybe there were similar beings out there who got it, is too familiar. The hope hadn't lasted long but the fact it ever existed makes his teeth grind.
He looks away from her.]
Then she's useless. If she wants to be a tool, then she'll be one. No need to waste our time further.
But in that case, you need to write a letter and explain what you need and you'll need to teach her how to play the part. We'll still need to send her to the vultures to get what we need and get her out. Then you can do what you want with her. I don't care.
We're also going to need plane tickets for Japan unless you've got a better method. We're heading to Karakura town.
[Him having a family explains a lot, really. How he could empathize and strive for better despite the horrors their lives were. She doesn't doubt the sisters now -- it almost makes her want to laugh. Is that why he put up with so much of her bullshit? She doesn't laugh though, and she doesn't give in to the need to cry, scream, or break things out of furious frustration, either. She just sits there, breathing a little harder than normal from her rant, and watches him dismiss a girl that looks so much like her. Does that satisfy her? Make her want to knock his teeth so hard they pushed his eyes out? There's something, she thinks. All these years and no one's been able to make her understand the intricacies of all these feelings that overwhelmed her.
V, to her credit, looks disappointed at not having matched up to expectations -- never mind that she wasn't given a fair chance. She wasn't enough. She made a mistake. She wasn't any good at all... Deflated, she glances over to the other golem like she might get some encouragement from her. All she sees is Lotte struggling before forcing herself to look composed enough to be bored. All it does is make her look more like a wounded tiger desperate to leap from her cage at her master's throat, pacing back and forth, waiting. Trying not to give up and decide she'll never, ever, ever be free.]
If you clean up my crime scene super nicely, we can use that man's credit! As long as we can ditch the cards before anyone figures out he's dead and not just on vacation, it'll be no problem!
[The cheer in her voice is more strained than it should be. What the fuck. She used to be good at this.]
Not that I think he'll be missed much. She might be, by some of his poker buddies~
[Unnecessarily, she jerks her thumb at V, who gives her an odd little frown in return before drifting off to sit at Zan's feet instead of the more familiar set. That does actually make Q laugh a little bit.]
[She doesn't comment on his family and he thinks, good. He is not and is never going to be in the mood to explain the whole situation there. It will never be more than a sour taste in his mouth and a dull ache where his heart isn't.
He takes in the sight of both of them, V at his feet like he's going to protect her, Q before him trying to pretend she isn't bursting her seems with rage and agony. He can't stand the sight of either of them.
He makes a faint Chh to be told to clean up her mess-- the only thing he's cleaning up is the soul left behind. The gold light that is his eyes in the mask flashes when she continues, a growl on his breath.]
Remind me to rip the rest of them apart when we come back. [Because he sure as hell isn't staying in Karakura, let alone Japan.] And give me a direction. That bastard's soul is far too weak at the moment to just pick out. His wallet better be easy to find.
[Her giggle stumbles into something more genuine, if only for a fraction of a second.]
Ahh, I knew I could count on you! [She didn't. She's pushing her luck, and as if she's eager to test the breaking point, she sweetly adds,] A-ni-ki~
[Before he can rush over and strangle her -- a genuine concern -- Charlotte flops down into her chair again. Besides, he deserves it. Whether he meant to or not, whether it was something she would have done anyway or not... She raises one arm, finger aloft in the direction she'd come from, but it can only delay the compulsion for a short while. Not long enough for her to feel like she's getting to cling onto some semblance of pride.]
Six and a half miles, southwest. Past the bar and the basketball court. Sage place with plastic bags covering a broken window. Door connecting to the garage is unlocked. Don't bother breaking in the front.
[She brings her arm back to cover a fake, exaggerated yawn. The other command isn't an immediate concern.]
Mmm, what do we still have stocked here...? Got any snacks? [Not that she needs to eat, or that food actually tastes like anything more than different states of clay to her. The real curiosity,] Soap? Running water? Hairbrush? No electricity, right?
[Too many safehouses, not enough care to maintain them. Oops. It's still raining if the water's shut off at this one, at least. Cold, scraggly water for cold, scraggly girls.]
[He makes a face as she calls him that, not that she can see it. It occurs to him that she's following a command, but he doesn't actually have time to fuck around with this. None of them have the time.
Which is why he wastes none of it crossing the room. In the instant he crosses, his clothes shift and become the white shihakusho. The sword materializes strapped to his back.]
I don't use blowdryers.
[The door is pulled open and in an instant, he's leapt into the air itself and vanished.
It's some time before he's back. There's no food left for them at the safehouse, he simply doesn't have that kind of self-control. There is, however, soap and even a comb, the water evidently still working here. Apparently not entirely a gremlin. Possibly.
But he comes back with a wallet and the satisfaction of watching Hell's gates open up and swallow the bastard whole. It's been a while since he's seen those. He walks in the door almost looking like a teenager again.]
Oy!
[The moment he sees Lotte, he's tossing the wallet to her.]
[The girl that turns in her seat and catches the wallet has warped fingers on one hand, in addition to Lotte's face. V looks up from her "prize" to the boy, stunned for a beat before hastily getting to her feet. Of course she would, ready to comply, even if -- ]
Q wouldn't let me help, so she's still combing her hair.
[Her hair, just as long and just as white, is drying in neat, wispy curls in a way that suggests the pair had started on her, first. It looks soft enough to match her voice, which could have been identical to Q's if the other ever bothered to soften anything.
She knows what a wallet is, but it's still strange to hold one herself. She also knows that she doesn't really want to open it unless she wants a reminder of that man, and instead tucks it away into the pocket of her hoodie. The smile she offers can barely be called that, as small as it is and accompanied by eyes that looked exhausted from all the crying she'd done earlier.]
I...know you want her with. I can get her for you. Even if it's me, she has to listen.
[After all, she also craved to be loved, underneath everything. She, too, would do as she was told.]
[He stills the moment he spies those crooked fingers. Even before she looks up, he realizes his mistake. He doesn't want to deal with this. He doesn't want to deal with her.
His sharp eyes watch her as she moves to him. He listens to her speak without expression. She's soft and sad and utterly pitiful. And just like always, just like he's long since learned things work, the other shoe drops.
He snarls at her, all but snapping his teeth. He feels fury bubble up from his empty core. He turns his face from her, disgusted.]
You think I want that? As if this isn't enough of a pain in the ass?
[He goes to find a chair, dropping into it.]
She pulls you up out of hell and you're still ready to step on her fingers for any bit of freedom she gets. Where have I seen that before? I wonder.
[The girl flinches, though she doesn't step away from him and she does her best to straighten her spine a moment later. He moves instead, but V tries not to fold to his demeanor all the same, gaze following. Trust him isn't something she's compelled to follow anymore, and she knows there's no point in trying to appease him, but... Her fingers, as he mentions metaphorical ones, shift to press her nails into the wallet. She has to. She can't make mistakes.]
Isn't that her? [Her words are clear despite how quiet she's speaking. By Q's own admission, V is little more than her new guinea pig.] ...I am grateful. I didn't like living that way. But Q is the reason we're being made to go at all. There are people you don't want to see, aren't there? And I... [Well.] Isn't it better for everyone if we leave when we can?
[His eyes flick up. He doesn't like that challenge but he's a little intrigued to see her bothering at all.
He hears her out. That she confirms she hated that life tells him that she has some sense to know that things aren't okay. But even still...]
... You don't get it. Even if it is better, it defeats the point. Whether you're dragged to a prison or dragged to something you want, you're still being dragged. There's going to come a point where that collar gets real tight. You can either choke to death or break free... and if you're holding the leash, how do you think that's going to end for you either way it shakes out?
[She doesn't respond right away, but her serene, tired smile wears down even further. Finally, she moves back to her own chair and sits at the edge, proper but uncomfortable, even as assured as she seems to be in her own words.]
It doesn't work like that.
[There is no more tightening of the collar, and there certainly isn't a consequence for having it at the limit from the start. She tried.]
She knows... There is no "do or die" for something like us. It isn't a real choice they'll let you make, and even though they hate it when you try, they'll do anything but kill you. The collar never gets tight enough. [But then, if she's on the other side...?] If I told her to come here, would she kill me? Or did your words mean nothing?
[V's eyes fall away from him again.]
It doesn't matter. I have to be a good girl... So I won't cause her trouble. You don't want that.
[He's snapping but he doesn't care. He can see she's uncomfortable. Good, he thinks. He rolls his eyes.]
You're a construct and you're compelled to do what everyone says. You're so useful they won't kill you even if you're miserable. Blah, blah, I get it. That's not the point. Do you like being used? Do you like being broken, turned inside out, made to serve no matter how it hurts or how little you have left? Do you think she does?
[He straightens, sneering.]
If you told her to come here, she'd do everything she could to spite you. You'd be lucky that I wouldn't kill you, but that's because you're going to set her free.
[Her shoulders droop, and she decides to keep to herself the time she hadn't known better. They already think she's stupid, so they don't need to know how she'd chosen to do nothing and expected it to be over, just like that. How could she have guessed otherwise, when all she'd known was orders? What she'd thought was a choice was...exciting. A hope that burned out immediately, because "dying" isn't something that happens when you're only made up of parts of children that died specifically for your creation.]
...I have to do it in order to be loved. How I feel about it...
[That doesn't matter, either. Not when things are so empty. Her bent fingers comb through a patch of her hair, thinking it's odd that he calls it luck.]
[He's surprised to hear himself say it. It makes him feel sick immediately. He shouldn't know what love is. It's not as if he can feel it. Not really. But--
There was a girl giving them strength to fight. There was their mother. There he was with the old man speaking to Ichigo one last time--
No. He doesn't know love. It would be useless to him anyway.
He stares at her for a long moment, face unreadable.]
...My master, we'll call him, tried to erase me. He wanted to use my power without me being there at all. He took everything from me and just about everyone we knew pitched in to make it happen.
[He's never told Lotte this story. It would've been weak. He's not sure why this is different.]
I fought. He won. He dragged us down, for whatever amount of myself I was. He called me to the chopping block and I knew there was never an option. Same old story, same old stupid end.
Except, I'm here. I'm speaking to you, free, on my own, and alive. None of that should be possible. But I don't care what's supposed to be possible or not. If something needs to be done, I'm going to do it. I've pulled off impossible a dozen times. I don't see what the hell one more is.
[She looks up at him again, confused utterly by his words. That...had to be the way it was. That's how it's written into her very self. She can hear it like a constant whisper in her ear.
Be a good girl. In order to be loved, you're not allowed to make mistakes.
She wants to be loved.
...Her head hurts.]
She told me to trust you. I think that must mean she really believes you can help her. [Her glassy eyes narrow, fighting to hold back tears that might not even come. Do people run out of tears? Do constructs?] And...if you can... That means I'll be free, too? I'll be first?
[It sounds unbelievable, another error in some magic code ingrained in her. Impossible. He's really made the impossible happen?]
Is it... [She rubs at her bad fingers, not sure what it is she wants to ask. It feels too presumptuous or like doubt. She should just be glad they're bothering with her at all, when it wasn't like she was worth doing the impossible for -- and now, she doesn't know if she could handle that littlest bit of hope being ripped away from her again. Eventually, still at a loss, V bows her head and defaults to the simplest feeling she can find, besides Mother's insistent rules. Like she imagines many of her feelings are, it doesn't feel correct.] ...Please take care of me.
[Lotte is wrangling her hair into her signature pigtails as she wanders in, clean white pajamas taking the place of her wet clothes. She hasn't heard much of anything, but the bit she has caught there at the end has her rolling her eyes.]
Ugh. They're always being gross. Oh! [She'd been speaking to the boy, but it's only then that she registers what that means. Looking almost excited, she claps her hands together.] Aniki! You're back! Did you have fun? Let's go!
[There's a moment when she notes she'll be free first, where he wonders if she won't just run off as soon as she is. He's sure he could catch her, but it would be a pain, especially in Karakura. He can't go about so easily there without drawing attention. He's not even sure he'll be able to avoid it for this venture of theirs.
Who will be the first to jump? Some nobody shinigami? The remaining Vizards? Ichigo's friends? Or will Dad actually rise up just to see him down?
But this girl, she goes for the throat in an entirely different way. His eyes fix on her, sharp. Take care of me. He's never bent easily to a demand. Only those small requests in his existence, cutting through the deepest darkness, one greater than all else. Save us.
Just her. Only her, among dozens, hundreds. He'd turn their soul inside out and they'd blend into each other, for her.
Lotte chooses that time to be boisterous and he just barely manages to bring his attention back with a light shake of his head.]
Chh. You're the one wasting time! We've been waiting out here!
[Last time he was given a request like that, everything had been undone and rewritten. He doesn't know what this will mean.]
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storywalks) wrote2021-08-12 07:08 pm
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Almost there~ Follow, follow! [Her voice lilts like a song, like she isn't a joyless fuck that killed a man an two hours or so ago and has been walking ever since. The girl behind her makes some kind of noise, but a rumble of thunder makes Lotte unsure whether it was a word or a blubbered sob. It isn't like she cares anyway. Just a little further. Then they can rest.
Neither of them stay in one place if they can help it, but they have ways of reaching each other and a series of safe havens they can fall back on -- hardly more than a rest stop. It's one of those rare occasions she actually reaches out with more than a ridiculous image or gruesome display, and she isn't looking forward to seeing him at all.
Still. He's the only one that comes close to understanding.] Just you and me, and me, and me...
[Lotte sighs and yanks the other girl by the arm up a curb and over to a door that couldn't stand out if it tried. Not her style, since it wasn't pure white and hiding pure white walls and floors inside, but you can only be too picky when you want to be better about staying under the radar. Holding tight, she kicks at the door twice before reaching for the handle. As long as he's arrived already, they don't have a thing to worry about, and if he hasn't? ...The odds of someone that wasn't some useless squatter no one would miss being there were incredibly low.
She opens her mouth to call out a Honey, I'm home~ that would disgust both of them, but only a sigh comes out. She just needs to sit herself and other flesh golem down for a rest.]
Trust him. Okay?
[She doesn't need to turn to see the jerky, tearful nod. She'd listen.]
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But he is not in the mood today. The moment the heavens opened up to pour on down, his mood soured. It's not the same as it was in the inner world but it doesn't stop the memories from inundating him and it doesn't stop him from hating the chill and the way it drenches him. He's hardly dried at all when she kicks at the door. He might've shown up just like she wanted, but he's still turning to glower.
At least until another one of her stumbles in.
He rises to his feet, chair scraping sharply across the floor. His black eyes wide and round as he looks from one pale girl to the other and then finally settles back on the one he knows. What. The Hell.]
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Go sit over there, V.
[V, as she's apparently named, moves to sit in another chair as indicated. Her eyes, wide with white on white on white, are glued to the man as a mix of tears and rain drip down. Lotte remains where she is, kicking the door shut behind her again and dripping defiantly onto the floor. The place sucked already. It's fine.
But this is annoying, so she bares her teeth in a lie of a grin.]
Hmmm? What's with that face? Did you think you were the only one I was a sister to? Or maybe you're thinking that one of me was more than enough? You'd hurt her feelings, if she had any.
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Compared to who's in this room? [He gives V a look over, scowling at the sight of tears.] Looks like she might be bursting at the seams.
When you talked about the sister thing, I assumed you needed an alibi for something and thought bullshitting some twisted attachment to me would work for you. I didn't think you actually collected family.
[He looks back to V again, but the tears still make his nose scrunch up in displeasure.]
So where and what did she fish you from?
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One of them looking a little odd, V's hands fidget with each other where they lay on top of her thighs, but she manages to not look to her counterpart for permission or the answer. Lotte would almost be proud of her...but she'd told her to trust him, and even then, she was a good girl. Not like her. The odds of her complying without being commanded were higher, and in the end her answer isn't overly helpful.]
I was in the house with Father. ...Q killed him before he was done and told me to come with her.
[Lotte rolls her eyes, 'cheerfully' supplementing,] The guy that had her was using her for his entertainment. She's built better for it than me, wouldn't you say? [With a shameless gesture to her chest, made even flatter by the binder she wears. Between the two, V was certainly the more matured, looking like she might be Lotte's older sister despite the fact that she'd been made after. She, at least, has the sense to look embarrassed by everything the other girl says.
Anyway. Her voice goes dead when she continues.] I don't think she's been outside in years. She was a real pain on the way over until I told her to shut up.
Nnn... I-I'm sorry.
Uh-huh. So~ I thought we could practice with her. Oh, and it'd be really nice of you if we could have some blood. That guy's was trash.
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He hears the top frame of the chair crunch under his fingers before he feels it. He lets go without a glance, slipping his hands into his pockets.]
... I thought you said you were going to bring the creeps to me. Really letting me down. But I guess it couldn't wait.
[He'll need to go out and find the soul. It's been a while since he's seen those gates but there's no way someone like that will be going anywhere but Hell.]
You're still an idiot though. I can't give you my blood. You'll either be dead in minutes or I'll have to put you down.
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[Mostly it'd be more convenient for him to do than for her to have wasted her time on it, but she did honestly figure there'd be some weird soul shit he could take care of that she couldn't, too. She's selfish, but like. Come on. Gotta love when people stop denying how badly they want to destroy others, one way or another. One of those constants.
Lotte offers him an exaggerated, wide-eyed pout to refute his objection before settling back into an annoyed grimace again. The urge to argue that it wasn't like her 'sister' was alive anyway rises -- but she's fought too hard for her life to accept it. They were different, but in that way they were the same. It wasn't V's fault that whatever acted as brain cells went into emotional output instead of intelligence, either. She sighs, deciding not to push it.]
Oh, she'll be fine, then. Looks like you've gotten used to your broken fingers anyway, right?
[V seems a little startled, but nods. Of course. It wasn't a problem. They were healed up, anyway, just...not properly in their place. That seems to satisfy the other golem enough, because Lotte skips over to her and pats her on the head.]
Good girl.
[If she had a tail, it'd be wagging happily at the smallest of praises. Disgusting. Lotte suppresses the urge to pull her hair. Instead, she marches behind V's chair and props her arms on the back of it so she can watch him rather than her.]
It might be inevitable, anyway. She can't be trusted to live on her own how she is, and neither of us are cut out for babysitting. [Unless, like, someone really hated their baby. Honestly, who wouldn't? So loud and annoying. Never understood that one.] Hey. Did you mean it? When you said we'd break whatever shackles I have. It could be a huge pain, you know?
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[Of course, he's not one to deny how much he craves destruction. It's everything he is. He's just sorry he won't be able to make the guy suffer more and still sent him to where he belongs.
She turns a pout on him and he turns a flat look right back. He's honestly surprised when she doesn't push it. Of course, that does bring him to eyeing up those broken fingers with distaste. He knows what he's going to have to do here and he doesn't like it.
But then, he doesn't like a lot about this.]
Are you really going to keep treating her like a dog?
[He takes a step toward V, turning his sharp glare on her.]
Oi. Hold your hand out if you want it fixed more than you like not hurting.
[He's no healer and he's said that before, but he can set a bone like anybody else. He goes back to speaking to Lotte.]
So you came to me to kill her off for you or find someone else to dump her on. As if I know where the hell to put her. [Home. "Home", rather, is the most obvious place. Drop her off there and let them figure out this strange girl in the clinic. But that means going back. Dammit.] You're already a huge pain, you realize. I said what I said. I don't just spew bullshit.
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Her head tips curiously, watching to see what happens when it registers to V that the command she was already starting to follow was really a choice. The girl's hand hovers, kept aloft by her uncertainty, but after a couple seconds she lets it fall again. Lotte clicks her tongue even if she can't tell whether or not she's disappointed.
She has a similar mixed feeling about his answer, but at least this time she knows it's because of the fact that this was one of those times that, should her heart beat like any other girl's, it'd be pulsing so hard it hurt. Her eyes stay dead, but she manages a small smile and leans to rest her chin on V's head.
She's really doing this, huh? It's her last chance to turn back.]
Yay! That's good for us, V! Even with that personality, he tries really hard to be good, doesn't he? We'll have to see how much it's just for show eventually, so let's not waste anyone's time more, okay? V, bark like a dog.
[With the same embarrassment she'd shown before, V looks to the ground but doesn't fuss over it. She barks, soft but undeniable.]
Wow, humiliating! Touch your nose~
[And of course she does. She has to.]
Oh, wait, you've been pretty rude, huh? Greet the nice man already!
A-ah! [She leans forward a little in her fervor to comply this time, even though it means that other girl that looks like her has to straighten back up since her chin rest is gone. She really should have been better than that. What must he be thinking of her?] Hello! It's nice to meet you! I-I'm Charlotte.
[Lotte's arms shift again so that she's gripping the back of the chair with enough force that just that will probably make her fingers bruise. At least she can say any tremble in her hands is from that.]
Well?
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There's a twitch in his expression when she says he tries to be good. He imagines throwing her fast into the floor. At the very least, he intends to tell her to screw off, when the other girl barks. She follows the commands, one after another, and horror and revulsion fight for the claim of his face.
He looks from V to her. Things click in place real fast. He might not have the solution, and he might not know the exact name for whatever the hell this is, but he knows what it means.
He asked nicely.
Forget throwing her. He wants to throw his fist through a wall.]
Well, what? I'm not holding the leash. You want me to rip it off of her?
[Of you? He scoffs and smirks bitterly, baring his teeth more than anything.]
Looks like we've got more in common than I thought.
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Good girl. I have extra clothes in that room. You can change into whatever you want, if it actually fits you. [V tips her head to look at her 'sister' blankly, but does push herself to her feet even though her legs protest it. It had been a lot easier when Q was just telling her to keep walking, instead of leaving it to her... Clothes that were dry and not the minimum Q had snatched from her dresser would be nice, though, she thinks distantly.
Other golem trailing off, Lotte decides to take the chair for herself, slouched with a leg propped up and one arm carelessly thrown over the back -- the picture of a delinquent inhabiting a young girl in once-pristine white. It's for the best that she pretend that she's lax, like she isn't carefully scanning the environment to refresh herself on anything she might be able to use as a weapon, like she isn't preparing herself for him to show his true colors after all because she couldn't listen to what he'd said, she couldn't trust him, he hated her, he said it himself, she was a pain to deal with, he wouldn't have to deal with her, he hated her.]
That's depressing. [For which of them?] I told you, after 85 years I'm out of ideas. And I'm running out of Charlottes. I'm a hard girl to track down, even for me. I was going to study this one for a while, but you can guess why I threw that plan out.
[No telling how long V had been suffering for, either. If it didn't piss her off so much, it might make Lotte feel sorry for the girl.]
You said you did it.
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I did.
[That much was true. But... he didn't know how. Not that time. And the other times he'd tried... well it just hadn't worked out.]
But I don't have nearly as many masters to worry about or the same kind of cage.
[And he hasn't had to deal with that kind of sick freak.]
...How many times? How many times have you done what I've told you?
[The thought makes him itch.]
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She rolls her eyes at the question, finally distracted from her paranoid search. The fear and crushing disappointment make her voice a little more harsh than before. Snappish.]
You really are good under the scary look, aren't you? ...Believe me, if you'd made a habit of bossing me around, I wouldn't be here. Pretty early on I stopped counting. I didn't need to keep score. Does that make you feel better?
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Fuck off.
[Yeah. It really is a miracle they've gotten this far. But he manages not to snap further, leaning back and giving up on the charade-- he lets his mask form slow over his face, eating away his center to offer that small security.]
... There are people who would know things. If they don't have a solution on hand, then they could probably make one in a week tops. [He doesn't even doubt it for a minute.]
But I don't trust them. Even if I did, which I'll never, I wouldn't be able to get to any of them and have them listen. The quickest way is getting someone else to be a stand-in, find out what we need, and drag them out before anyone knows we're there. But that doesn't mean it's the only way. I don't know how to fix this. [There. He admitted.] I just know there's a way. And I am not the stupid optimistic type.
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He doesn't inspire a lot of confidence, but it really is better than the alternative. After all this time, it would have only been a slap to the face if he came at this with a self-assured sneer and a can-do attitude.
She waves a hand vaguely at the room V wandered into.] That's where our stand-in went. It's too bad she'd probably be exploited immediately. You don't need a brain in order to behave, so she isn't smart enough to deal with people you can't trust -- not that I think it's a good idea trust anyone, of course.
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[Like he was.
His original thought to send her to the clinic is out. Sure, they might fix her hands, but this? He didn't trust his father to mind himself, he doesn't trust that stupid little plush, even his sisters would exploit it in some way, unintentionally and with no great harm, but still, and Ichigo would be too stupid and useless to stop any of it, nevermind the parade of assholes who liked to waltz in and out of there.
Trusting anyone was stupid. There wasn't anyone who-]
... There's one person. She can heal things and she can defend V and herself. She's got the power to do it and she wouldn't say no to letting V stay in her house. She'd be able to take her, go where they need to, ask for it, and get out with the least trouble.
But, I can't be the one to explain things. Either you need to do it or we need to write a really clear note and attach it to that one. [He jerks a thumb in V's direction.]
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Lotte's eyebrows lift in surprise. For them, that really is...a glowing review. She'd think this person too much of an idiot to get the job done until he notes he couldn't ask her himself.]
Haha. Oh, those protagonists.
[Heroes. The good guys she'd painted him as, when compared to her. Of course the gap between people like that would be no good for someone scary, but she can instantly let go of that lounging posture and pull off sweetness pretty convincingly, as long as she didn't open her mouth. Of course,]
They couldn't say no to a cute little girl like me, but it's been exhausting taking as big a risk as it was to tell you.
[V returns, white zip-up hoodie paired oddly with white shorts, and Lotte claps her hands, looking suddenly excited.]
Oh, oh! Let's make her a jiangshi and staple a note to her forehead!
[As much as her intelligence has been knocked, the newer golem has the awareness to know Lotte is talking about her, and covers her forehead with both hands with a look of concern.]
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I wouldn't think it's too late to avoid crawling back on to the science table. Even lab rats aren't that dumb.
[He doubts any of them were experimented with just once. That would be too simple. He's glad that most of those memories, for him, are only second-hand.
She goes and says protagonists like they're all characters in a story. The damn weirdo. But he finds himself surprised, even with the flippancy of how she says it, that she would admit that this has exhausted her at all. He gets it. He knows even just this, talking now in any normal way at all, should be an impossibility in and of itself.
He finds himself rolling his eyes again.]
There are enough morons and monsters in that town that someone could attack her for that. You can play dress-up on your own time.
[He spares a glance to V, wondering all the while how she'll react the mask.]
You. How well can you explain your situation?
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The girl doesn't know enough to be afraid of the mask. She hasn't heard all that many stories of things that go bump in the night, despite her unsavory origins herself. It had usually been for the best that she think everything was exactly as it should be. That combined with the familiarity of his voice, even with an spooky interference, means she's no more or less upset than she was before she looks over at him and lets her hands fall.]
My...situation? [She can feel Q's unimpressed glare resting on her, which makes her want to shift uneasily, but she keeps still. Her situation... After thinking about it a moment more, V grimaces, and there's a tremor in her voice and hands that isn't purely keeping in line with what had been her timid nature before.] I'm just another puppet. One of the many. I want...to be loved. I have to be a --
' -- good girl. Because in order to be loved, I'm not allowed to make mistakes'. Oh, good. They kept that horseshit in the later models, hmm? It's fine and all for a dramatic speech, but it's not what I want~ No one cares about the sick thought process behind it.
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Chh. Congratulations. Your creators are even more sick than the worst one I've had. And that's saying something! I'll be happy to never hear that again.
[He glances back to V again.]
She's right. I don't care for it. It's useless to us. Can you be honest at all? You're not going to change anything if you can't.
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Pot kettle.]no subject
Ooh. Do we get a prize for having awful 'parents'?
[She really would like a prize... Nothing good was coming from it otherwise. She goes back to her bored supervising of V, who worries over her out of place fingers in what might be some sort of nervous habit.]
Of...course. Why would I want to lie?
[She has to be a good girl.]
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[That implied Aizen was- no.
V is equally irritating. He should have figured, though he's not exactly surprised either.]
You're not lying. But that doesn't mean you're telling the truth.
You don't like pain. You've admitted that, the moment you had the chance and the choice to. And yet, what else have you been given? You've tried to be good. And what have you got to show for it? You've had this supposed love dangling over your head while you sit, beg, and rollover. You're telling me you're not tired of it? Do you really think that it's the only option? You could've bitten their fingers by now. [Like Lotte would.] Or you could've run away the moment the door opened wide enough. It's a big world out there.
You've got a chance to get the collar off. But you're not a stupid mutt. You have to be able to ask for it. Do you want to be free or not?
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Tch. What do you want me to say? I dunno what your deal is, but I was supposed to be their ideal daughter.
[Couldn't he tell? So cute, so pure, with beautiful long hair to brush and fawn over and flawless skin. Perfectly obedient. Perfect.
Or she could be a terrible gremlin who only waits a few beats into V's troubled, overwhelmed thinking before giving a loud, exasperated sigh.]
I told you, she isn't smart enough for this sort of thing. Funny, right? How I'm the one that's defective.
[But hey, she was right: even V could piss him off. As much as she might normally bask in that fact, she's really not in the mood. Seeing herself so useless and blank, eager to please... If she plays around too much being cute, chirpy, snarky, anything but how she really is, she's going to puke. What comes out is basically vomit made of frustration anyway.]
You think she can make a meaningful choice? She's been busy downing the koolaid for who knows how long. I didn't bring her here with some fairytale dream of a future family, all I did was rescue her from the trash so I could recycle her into something that's more than an airheaded doll made to please.
Look. I'm tired. I'm sick of finding them just to find out there's nobody there, or for the ones with any sense at all to kill themselves as soon as they realize there's something other than the same thing they've always done! Why should I have to risk becoming one of them by trying to actually exist for myself? She's here so she can be the prototype this time! Don't bother looking for anything more than that or a dog.
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I had a family. The ones involved in my creation weren't it.
[And he says nothing more on the matter. She probably won't believe him. She didn't believe he had sisters either.
He stares at V and he listens to Lotte speak. The frustration is obvious. He gets that too. Sometimes he'd screamed his rage to the skies in lieu of a better option back then. Even that hope, that brief sense of thinking maybe, maybe there were similar beings out there who got it, is too familiar. The hope hadn't lasted long but the fact it ever existed makes his teeth grind.
He looks away from her.]
Then she's useless. If she wants to be a tool, then she'll be one. No need to waste our time further.
But in that case, you need to write a letter and explain what you need and you'll need to teach her how to play the part. We'll still need to send her to the vultures to get what we need and get her out. Then you can do what you want with her. I don't care.
We're also going to need plane tickets for Japan unless you've got a better method. We're heading to Karakura town.
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V, to her credit, looks disappointed at not having matched up to expectations -- never mind that she wasn't given a fair chance. She wasn't enough. She made a mistake. She wasn't any good at all... Deflated, she glances over to the other golem like she might get some encouragement from her. All she sees is Lotte struggling before forcing herself to look composed enough to be bored. All it does is make her look more like a wounded tiger desperate to leap from her cage at her master's throat, pacing back and forth, waiting. Trying not to give up and decide she'll never, ever, ever be free.]
If you clean up my crime scene super nicely, we can use that man's credit! As long as we can ditch the cards before anyone figures out he's dead and not just on vacation, it'll be no problem!
[The cheer in her voice is more strained than it should be. What the fuck. She used to be good at this.]
Not that I think he'll be missed much. She might be, by some of his poker buddies~
[Unnecessarily, she jerks her thumb at V, who gives her an odd little frown in return before drifting off to sit at Zan's feet instead of the more familiar set. That does actually make Q laugh a little bit.]
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He takes in the sight of both of them, V at his feet like he's going to protect her, Q before him trying to pretend she isn't bursting her seems with rage and agony. He can't stand the sight of either of them.
He makes a faint Chh to be told to clean up her mess-- the only thing he's cleaning up is the soul left behind. The gold light that is his eyes in the mask flashes when she continues, a growl on his breath.]
Remind me to rip the rest of them apart when we come back. [Because he sure as hell isn't staying in Karakura, let alone Japan.] And give me a direction. That bastard's soul is far too weak at the moment to just pick out. His wallet better be easy to find.
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Ahh, I knew I could count on you! [She didn't. She's pushing her luck, and as if she's eager to test the breaking point, she sweetly adds,] A-ni-ki~
[Before he can rush over and strangle her -- a genuine concern -- Charlotte flops down into her chair again. Besides, he deserves it. Whether he meant to or not, whether it was something she would have done anyway or not... She raises one arm, finger aloft in the direction she'd come from, but it can only delay the compulsion for a short while. Not long enough for her to feel like she's getting to cling onto some semblance of pride.]
Six and a half miles, southwest. Past the bar and the basketball court. Sage place with plastic bags covering a broken window. Door connecting to the garage is unlocked. Don't bother breaking in the front.
[She brings her arm back to cover a fake, exaggerated yawn. The other command isn't an immediate concern.]
Mmm, what do we still have stocked here...? Got any snacks? [Not that she needs to eat, or that food actually tastes like anything more than different states of clay to her. The real curiosity,] Soap? Running water? Hairbrush? No electricity, right?
[Too many safehouses, not enough care to maintain them. Oops. It's still raining if the water's shut off at this one, at least. Cold, scraggly water for cold, scraggly girls.]
No blowdryer for us, V.
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[He makes a face as she calls him that, not that she can see it. It occurs to him that she's following a command, but he doesn't actually have time to fuck around with this. None of them have the time.
Which is why he wastes none of it crossing the room. In the instant he crosses, his clothes shift and become the white shihakusho. The sword materializes strapped to his back.]
I don't use blowdryers.
[The door is pulled open and in an instant, he's leapt into the air itself and vanished.
It's some time before he's back. There's no food left for them at the safehouse, he simply doesn't have that kind of self-control. There is, however, soap and even a comb, the water evidently still working here. Apparently not entirely a gremlin. Possibly.
But he comes back with a wallet and the satisfaction of watching Hell's gates open up and swallow the bastard whole. It's been a while since he's seen those. He walks in the door almost looking like a teenager again.]
Oy!
[The moment he sees Lotte, he's tossing the wallet to her.]
Let's get going.
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Q wouldn't let me help, so she's still combing her hair.
[Her hair, just as long and just as white, is drying in neat, wispy curls in a way that suggests the pair had started on her, first. It looks soft enough to match her voice, which could have been identical to Q's if the other ever bothered to soften anything.
She knows what a wallet is, but it's still strange to hold one herself. She also knows that she doesn't really want to open it unless she wants a reminder of that man, and instead tucks it away into the pocket of her hoodie. The smile she offers can barely be called that, as small as it is and accompanied by eyes that looked exhausted from all the crying she'd done earlier.]
I...know you want her with. I can get her for you. Even if it's me, she has to listen.
[After all, she also craved to be loved, underneath everything. She, too, would do as she was told.]
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His sharp eyes watch her as she moves to him. He listens to her speak without expression. She's soft and sad and utterly pitiful. And just like always, just like he's long since learned things work, the other shoe drops.
He snarls at her, all but snapping his teeth. He feels fury bubble up from his empty core. He turns his face from her, disgusted.]
You think I want that? As if this isn't enough of a pain in the ass?
[He goes to find a chair, dropping into it.]
She pulls you up out of hell and you're still ready to step on her fingers for any bit of freedom she gets. Where have I seen that before? I wonder.
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Isn't that her? [Her words are clear despite how quiet she's speaking. By Q's own admission, V is little more than her new guinea pig.] ...I am grateful. I didn't like living that way. But Q is the reason we're being made to go at all. There are people you don't want to see, aren't there? And I... [Well.] Isn't it better for everyone if we leave when we can?
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He hears her out. That she confirms she hated that life tells him that she has some sense to know that things aren't okay. But even still...]
... You don't get it. Even if it is better, it defeats the point. Whether you're dragged to a prison or dragged to something you want, you're still being dragged. There's going to come a point where that collar gets real tight. You can either choke to death or break free... and if you're holding the leash, how do you think that's going to end for you either way it shakes out?
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It doesn't work like that.
[There is no more tightening of the collar, and there certainly isn't a consequence for having it at the limit from the start. She tried.]
She knows... There is no "do or die" for something like us. It isn't a real choice they'll let you make, and even though they hate it when you try, they'll do anything but kill you. The collar never gets tight enough. [But then, if she's on the other side...?] If I told her to come here, would she kill me? Or did your words mean nothing?
[V's eyes fall away from him again.]
It doesn't matter. I have to be a good girl... So I won't cause her trouble. You don't want that.
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[He's snapping but he doesn't care. He can see she's uncomfortable. Good, he thinks. He rolls his eyes.]
You're a construct and you're compelled to do what everyone says. You're so useful they won't kill you even if you're miserable. Blah, blah, I get it. That's not the point. Do you like being used? Do you like being broken, turned inside out, made to serve no matter how it hurts or how little you have left? Do you think she does?
[He straightens, sneering.]
If you told her to come here, she'd do everything she could to spite you. You'd be lucky that I wouldn't kill you, but that's because you're going to set her free.
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...I have to do it in order to be loved. How I feel about it...
[That doesn't matter, either. Not when things are so empty. Her bent fingers comb through a patch of her hair, thinking it's odd that he calls it luck.]
Do you really think it's possible?
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[He's surprised to hear himself say it. It makes him feel sick immediately. He shouldn't know what love is. It's not as if he can feel it. Not really. But--
There was a girl giving them strength to fight. There was their mother. There he was with the old man speaking to Ichigo one last time--
No. He doesn't know love. It would be useless to him anyway.
He stares at her for a long moment, face unreadable.]
...My master, we'll call him, tried to erase me. He wanted to use my power without me being there at all. He took everything from me and just about everyone we knew pitched in to make it happen.
[He's never told Lotte this story. It would've been weak. He's not sure why this is different.]
I fought. He won. He dragged us down, for whatever amount of myself I was. He called me to the chopping block and I knew there was never an option. Same old story, same old stupid end.
Except, I'm here. I'm speaking to you, free, on my own, and alive. None of that should be possible. But I don't care what's supposed to be possible or not. If something needs to be done, I'm going to do it. I've pulled off impossible a dozen times. I don't see what the hell one more is.
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Be a good girl. In order to be loved, you're not allowed to make mistakes.
She wants to be loved.
...Her head hurts.]
She told me to trust you. I think that must mean she really believes you can help her. [Her glassy eyes narrow, fighting to hold back tears that might not even come. Do people run out of tears? Do constructs?] And...if you can... That means I'll be free, too? I'll be first?
[It sounds unbelievable, another error in some magic code ingrained in her. Impossible. He's really made the impossible happen?]
Is it... [She rubs at her bad fingers, not sure what it is she wants to ask. It feels too presumptuous or like doubt. She should just be glad they're bothering with her at all, when it wasn't like she was worth doing the impossible for -- and now, she doesn't know if she could handle that littlest bit of hope being ripped away from her again. Eventually, still at a loss, V bows her head and defaults to the simplest feeling she can find, besides Mother's insistent rules. Like she imagines many of her feelings are, it doesn't feel correct.] ...Please take care of me.
[Lotte is wrangling her hair into her signature pigtails as she wanders in, clean white pajamas taking the place of her wet clothes. She hasn't heard much of anything, but the bit she has caught there at the end has her rolling her eyes.]
Ugh. They're always being gross. Oh! [She'd been speaking to the boy, but it's only then that she registers what that means. Looking almost excited, she claps her hands together.] Aniki! You're back! Did you have fun? Let's go!
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Who will be the first to jump? Some nobody shinigami? The remaining Vizards? Ichigo's friends? Or will Dad actually rise up just to see him down?
But this girl, she goes for the throat in an entirely different way. His eyes fix on her, sharp. Take care of me. He's never bent easily to a demand. Only those small requests in his existence, cutting through the deepest darkness, one greater than all else. Save us.
Just her. Only her, among dozens, hundreds. He'd turn their soul inside out and they'd blend into each other, for her.
Lotte chooses that time to be boisterous and he just barely manages to bring his attention back with a light shake of his head.]
Chh. You're the one wasting time! We've been waiting out here!
[Last time he was given a request like that, everything had been undone and rewritten. He doesn't know what this will mean.]
Let's get this over with!